Earth Day Ramblings

Today is Earth Day, the day when we are reminded that we live a planet called Earth.  It’s also the day when arrogant liberals attempt to convince the rest of us that we are destroying the planet.  Now, I’m not saying that I don’t believe in climate change, because I do.  What I don’t believe is that we have the capability of destroying the planet.  We might make a few million species go extinct, including ourselves, and we might wound the planet badly for a few thousand years, but the planet will keep on spinning around the sun.

After we as a species are gone, a new one will rise out of the muck and take its place atop the food chain.  If the archaeological record is any indication, this species will reign for a time and then also diminish.  This process will repeat itself until the sun becomes a white dwarf in about five billion years.  It would take a catastrophic event, such as a massive asteroid striking the Earth, to destroy the planet.

What we do have the power to do is make this planet uninhabitable for ourselves, and in our hubris, we’ve been making great strides in that direction.  We clear cut forests that convert CO2 into oxygen and then over-produce CO2 by relying too heavily on fossil fuels.  We pollute our air, water, and food supplies with little regard for the future.  We deplete natural resources instead of pursuing renewable resources.  We ignore the advice of mainstream science in the name of commerce.  I’ll reiterate again that I’m not against commerce.  I like the free market, but I am against reckless commerce that doesn’t look beyond the present.

We need to re-energize the space program and send a team to Mars.  We need to develop renewable energy sources that are less expensive and less damaging to our environment.  We need to regrow more forests to re-establish the global CO2 balance.  We need to become responsible stewards of our home.  In Genesis, God charged Adam with caring for the Earth and shepherding the animals, not wrecking the planet and abusing the animals.  The irony that conservatives are against conservation is almost too much to process.

The most important thing we as a species need to do is overcome thousands of years of animalistic superstition and occultism and see the world through a rational lens.  We are a species at the top of the food chain on a planet called Earth.  Our ecosystem survives on a balance between oxygen and carbon dioxide, and that ecosystem is a fragile, precious gift that sustains our lives.  If we want to continue our reign atop the food chain, we need to makes changes to how we produce energy and food, and we need to improve how we manage our waste.  If we fail to make these changes and adapt as a species, the planet will rid itself of us long before we can figure out how to destroy it.

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Climate Change Ramblings

In the past few weeks, we’ve had floods, earthquakes, volcanoes, and other natural disasters sprinkled throughout the news.  Since science is incapable of understanding these events and the Jew-run liberal media won’t report on them accurately, I decided to return to Arkansas and learn more about these phenomenon from a real expert, Cletus McOnetooth’s pastor, the Reverend Jack Fleecer.  The Reverend Fleecer doesn’t allow the Satanic influence of science to muddle his view of the universe.  Instead, he relies upon what the spirit tells him about the world around us.

“All these here disasters,” Fleecer explains.  “Are predicted in Revelations.  This world was only meant to last 12,000 years, and according to everything we know about history, the world is now about that old, so of course everthing is fallin apart.”

As a concerned parent and responsible person, I was obviously worried, so I asked what I could do in light of such a terrible end.

“Well, first thing, you need to donate money to a worthy cause.  My church just so happens to be taking donations for our ‘The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth Bunker’ we’re building right here in Arkansas.”

Seeing my curiosity, the reverend offered me a tour of the bunker, which was being constructed on the east wing of his house.  The bunker is two two stories tall, has a hot-tub and jacuzzi, and receives both cable and satellite TV.  There’s a game room with a pool table and a fully stocked bar.  The reverend assured me that the bar is only stocked with church approved beverages such as Budweiser and bourbon, so none of his congregation has to worry about picking up something fruity at the liquor store.

“We figure the meek will want some basic comforts after the rapture, so we’re building this here bunker to be state of the art.  Until I’m called home, my job is to test out these comforts and make sure the meek will have a comfortable place to inherit.”

“That reverend is some special man,” Cletus explained.  “Before I met him, I spent all my money on frivolous things like mud-flaps and car stereos, but now, I spend it on more enlightened things like the bunker for the meek and pro wrestling tickets down in Memphis.  And ever week, I tithe the church at least 10% of my paycheck.  I know my money is being well-spent cause I can see the bunker growing and expanding ever week.  It feels good to give to such a worthy cause.”

Unfortunately, my interview had to be cut short, as the good reverend had to attend a Tea Party meeting.

“We’re gonna head down to Little Rock,” the reverend said.   “And protest lower prescription drug costs for the elderly and prohibition of pre-existing condition exclusions.  Them insurance companies have a God-given right to extort this nation, and we won’t stand for no ni…er…socialist trying to stop em.”

“Everbody knows,” Cletus added.  “That all them earthquakes and volcanies is God’s dislike for that Mus…er…socialist in the White House.  He weren’t even born in this here country.  Hawaii, like that’s even a real state.”

Tuesday Afternoon Ramblings

For many, today is a national holiday.  To some, it’s a sacred holiday that signifies the best life has to offer and the promise of a happier tomorrow.  For the latter, they take the day off work and relax in their living rooms with a Mr. Show with Bob and David marathon and an assortment of snacks to rival Super Bowl Sunday.  For the casual observer of this holiday, the celebration will begin sometime after work and will involve a cold Mountain Dew and Doritos.  For all, however, the festivities will be relaxed.

Today is April 20.

While the holiday doesn’t have the same allure for me that it once did, I do still look back the fuzzy memories of past years and smile at the lack of recollection of those celebrations.  Some of my friends will remember the “Stuck in the Mud” dance, which was my personal April 20 favorite.  Others have experienced the loss of English language skills that marks an exceptionally well-celebrated holiday.  For some, the five hour search for the car keys and cell phone was the evening’s highlight.  Whatever the personal favorite fuzzy memory, this holiday is special to all who celebrate it.

For those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about, talk to your teenager.  More than likely, they do.

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