Tag Archives: religion

Trump Man Ramblings – 10/19/2019

Given all the fake news leveled against the president by the Jew-run liberal media, I decided to investigate for myself the veracity of all these canards being spread. To this end, I visited my old friend Cletus McOnetooth of Ellis Chapel, Arkansas.

“Let me tell ya,” Cletus said. “People can say what they want about the Trump Man, but he’s one bad hombre.”

I pressed for details.

“Looky cheer, our prezzydent has single-handedly taken out ISIS. Each night, after all them press sissies have left the once-again White House, the Trump Man flies his hellycopter over yonder and fights against those A-rabs with his six shooters and bare fists. Even though that overrated General Mattis said it would take two years, the Trump Man got it done in just one month. All by hisself, mind ye.”

Astonished by the courage and skill of our fearless commander-in-chief, I implored Cletus to share how he had learned of these daring escapades.

“Well, every since them social media queerfolk made it hard to find Alex Jones online, I started following a bunch of conservative bloggers, and I just pieced it all together myself. Now, that’s all the time I have for questions. Wrastlin’s about to come on.”

Being a credible journalist, I needed to verify this story, so I rushed from Arkansas to South Carolina to meet up with one of the conservative bloggers in person, William Joseph Cartwright III. He took a break from perusing Facebook political ads and greeted me warmly.

“Just researching a new article,” Cartwright said, minimizing the window. “The only source I trust for news now is Facebook ads. To your question about the president battling ISIS at night, I can only offer one small correction, given the distance, it’s actually daylight over there when he lands, which if you think about it, makes him even more badass. I mean, even Batman had to fight criminals under the cover of night. And think about the courage the president displays to endure the pain of his bone spurs while battling these terrorists. That real courage. American courage,”

Thrilled to have verification of this spectacular tale, I rushed home to compile this article, grateful to live in a country with such a stalwart leader.

Je Suis Charlie

Je Suis
(Warning: normally I refrain from expressing my views on religion out of respect for my friends who are believers, but in light of the events in France yesterday, my views are central to this piece. Stop now if your faith is easily insulted.)

The biggest threat in this world, the one I have pushed against most of my life, is that of extremism. It comes in many forms, but the common denominator is intolerance for other people’s lifestyles or beliefs. On January 7, 2014, twelve people who worked for the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo were gunned down by two Islamic extremists because the magazine had insulted their invisible man in the sky. Around the world, others who believe in different invisible folks in the sky saw this atrocity as proof of the superiority of their totems. Extremists to the left used it as an opportunity to once again renounce gun violence, while extremists to the right made sure to point out France’s restrictive gun control laws. Both sides, so convinced of their own divine authority of knowing THE one right way, missed the point: Intolerance ultimately leads to destruction.

Rather than galvanizing civilized people into a collective mass, this latest tragedy is further proof of just how fragmented and intolerant we truly are. Just this morning, the first item to appear in my Facebook newsfeed was a post ridiculing Al Gore because it’s cold over much of North America this week. The ignorance and short-sightedness of confusing weather and climate never cease to amaze me, but that’s a different discussion for a different day. Within minutes, this person’s post had filled with followers, either piling on with more insults for the 97.5% of climatologists who believe climate change is a real thing and man made or questioning the original poster’s intelligence. Per usual with these kinds of discussions, there was no dialogue, no discourse, no exchanging of ideas, just a further entrenching of deeply held beliefs.

Even though I am pretty much a non-believer – especially in religion and specifically in invisible men in the sky who want cartoonists murdered – I’ve always tried to be respectful of other people’s beliefs. After all, that’s what tolerance is all about, allowing other individual’s the right to worship or not as they see fit, to love the person they want (as long it’s a consensual relationship), and to view the world through whatever prism they deem appropriate. The scope of this tolerance ends when one person decides to impose their beliefs on others involuntarily. In free societies, you do not have the right to impose your will on someone else against their own will. This message applies to the extremists on both sides. In light of this most recent tragedy, I see little hope for bridging the gulf of extremist intolerance.

We as a species are heading for a major conflict if we do not find ways to communicate with each other instead of at each other. Because of the unimaginable power of the weapons we possess, our survival as civilized societies is at stake, possibly even the survival of our entire species. And I have no idea how to fix it at this point. I see no way to convince believers that our actions as people are not preordained by the will of whichever invisible person in the sky they worship, and I see no way to get the extremists on the other end to respect the right to believe. I fear the consequences of this steady march towards a worldwide war, because that is what we are approaching, and if this war ultimately erupts, it will be unlike anything humans have experienced before because of the deep fragmentation we have created and those weapons we possess. While little internet arguments over climate change may seem innocuous on the surface, the dehumanization of “the other” is just a symptom of that terrifying disease of intolerance.

Saturday Afternoon Ramblings

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Here’s the crux of our problem illustrated by two specific examples.  The other day, while listening to the radio, I caught a few moments of a debate over gun control.  It was the typical back and forth liberal versus conservative banter, but towards the end of the segment, the conservative challenged the liberal to talk to NRA members, not the executives mind you, but everyday people.  Her response, and I’m paraphrasing, was something to the effect that she had nothing to say to those people.  The second example comes from the gay marriage debate.  On Facebook, two different religious conservative friends of mine posted similar rants about having other people’s sins forced upon them.  In both of these examples, there is a common thread that shuts down dialogue and allows no room for discussion.

In the first example, the liberal woman refuses to talk to her opponents.  In her mind, her position is perfect and flawless, with no need for improvement or refinement.  The arrogance of this stance is staggering.  When someone refuses to listen to someone else, that person is adopting an air of superiority, as if their opponents cannot possibly be intelligent enough to add anything to the discussion.  Now, I can almost justify this stance if the challenge had been to converse with an executive from the NRA, someone with a profit-driven agenda to promote, but this challenge was specifically to talk to ordinary people, to listen to their stories, to hear their perspectives.  In her own way, she dehumanizes conservatives, and her arrogance is what makes people view liberals as out-of-touch elitists.

For the second example, we have the opposite side of the same coin.  Both of the religious people are operating from the mindset that their beliefs are the only ones with validity.  Anyone who doesn’t believe their version of the scripture is simply wrong.  Much like their liberal counterpart, they refuse to accept that their view might be flawed.  Never mind that there are many, many examples of laws proclaimed by their bible that are now considered archaic and absurd.  We no longer force rapists to marry their victims for one example.  These people cannot see the holes in their own logic that as humanity’s understanding of science and biology and psychology has improved, we’ve let go of the obviously ridiculous “rules” proscribed in the Bronze Age.  Even though they more than likely enjoy delicious, tasty bacon, to them the Holy Bible is the immutable law of God, except the passages they conveniently choose to ignore.  Just like their liberal counterpart, they dehumanize homosexuals with inflammatory analogies to bestiality, and as long as they hold this stance, there can be no discussion with them.

Until we can get both of these extremes to budge off of their arrogance, we cannot find peaceful resolution to our differences.  Until we can get these extremes to stop dehumanizing their counterparts, we cannot find common ground.  The only way we can ever hope to heal this widening chasm is by listening to each other, but as illustrated, the extremes have no interest in listening.  In their minds, their stance is perfect and beyond reproach, and I for one have no idea how to breach this irrational gulf.

Thursday Morning Ramblings


I want to believe in the American Dream.  I want to believe in the United States as the land of opportunity.  However, throughout my nearly 40 years in this country, I’ve seen little proof that these notions still remain relevant for the majority of our citizens.  There are exceptions, of course.  Professional athletes still have rags to riches stories.  So do pop musicians.  And drug dealers.  Outside of those three sectors of the economy, I see few opportunities for people like me, ordinary folk not born of wealth and privilege, to break through the ever solidifying socioeconomic class system in our society.  I see virtually no upward mobility anymore, but ample downward cascading.

At the birth of our nation, two differing views of democracy vied for power.  On one side, the Hamiltonians believed that only landed gentry should have the right to vote and hold elected office.  Their rationale was that the working classes were too uncivilized and barbaric to self-govern.  They needed a strong ruling class to make decisions for them and keep them productive members of society.  If left to their own faculties, the Hamiltonians argued, the working classes would drink away their salaries, squander their resources, and create a shiftless nation of non-productive derelicts.  One can argue that there is some wisdom to this notion, for we all know plenty of people today who fit quite nicely into this vision of America the Hamiltonians feared.

Fortunately for most of us, however, there was another vision, fostered by Thomas Jefferson.  He and his followers believed that if we as a country cultivated leadership from every sector of society, providing education and opportunity for any ambitious enough to strive to better themselves, then our fledgling democratic-republic would break free from the old, feudalistic systems of Europe and create a new kind of society.  In this society, individual citizens from all backgrounds would have the right to self-govern, and furthermore, these citizens would be given the tools through public education to make better decisions for themselves and their families.  At the time, this notion was so new and so radical that even those it purported to elevate from second-class citizenship often derided it as the stuff of fairy tales.

When Jefferson was elected as our third president, his vision became the direction in which our country moved.  Throughout our history, however, this battle between the Hamiltonians and Jeffersonians has continued.  It has changed and morphed and evolved over the last 200+ years, but at its core, the central debate has remained the same.  Some believe that we need a wealthy elite to rule and lead, and others believe that even “commoners” have the ability to self-govern if given the proper tools.  There are countless shades of gray between these two poles, with countless visions and variations on how to arrive at each end.

Today, it feels as if the Hamiltonians have won.  Both of our major political parties seem to believe that the average person is incapable of self-governance.  Throughout my lifetime, self-sufficiency has been attacked and eroded from each end of the spectrum.  Now, the debate seems to be more about who should control the masses, big government or big business.  In my experience, neither has proven to have my best interests at heart.  In America today, I feel disenfranchised, powerless, and at the mercy of those in charge, which goes against everything I was taught about the foundation of our Constitution.  In this upcoming election, neither candidate puts forth a vision of America that I believe in, and the election itself seems more like a circus sideshow than a real public discourse on the direction of our society.

I want my country back.  I want a nation in which I feel in charge of my own destiny.  I want the opportunity to ply my trades without overbearing regulations from the government and competition squelching nonsense from the corporations.  I want a country that embraces innovation and technology again.  I want a country that allows for religious freedom for all.  I want a country in which a person can sink or swim based on their abilities and persistence, not on how much money they have to throw at a problem.  I want a country that embraces education and free thought and encourages individual expression.  I want the America I was promised as a child.

Monday Night Ramblings


I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our country, the economy, the lack of enthusiasm for the upcoming election, democracy, homosexuality, Chik-Fil-A, and all the crap we as Americans deal with on a daily basis.  First and foremost, let me say that this post is not intended to be inflammatory or sensational, so if you get offended, you probably need to grow a thicker skin because I’m not intending to be offensive.

We live in crazy times, an era defined by rampant intolerance.  That intolerance is not restricted to one political party as some would have you believe.  It comes from both sides.  Look at the recent uproar over a fast-food chicken restaurant.  One side wants the company put out of business, while the other created traffic jams to get their unhealthy glob of grease.  It was sheer insanity, a classic example of irrational hate mongering by both extremes.  In America, if you truly want to be free, you have to drop this us versus them mentality.  If you don’t like a company’s policies, simply don’t do business with them.  Soberly and politely encourage your friends who share your values to do the same.  But don’t try to infringe upon that person’s rights to think and believe as they see fit.  That’s not democracy; that’s called fascism.

On the other hand, if you think you’re ordained with an inherent right to dictate to others what is right or wrong because you think your invisible man in the sky told you to, you need to back up.  In this country, we have the right to believe or not believe as we see fit, and you don’t have the right to shove your religion down anyone else’s throat.  You can believe in your guilt-god all you want.  That’s your right.  The moment you start telling me how to live my life based on your beliefs, we’ve got a problem.  I don’t believe it and refuse to live my life based on ancient books written by barbaric peoples and rewritten by feudal kings to control peasants.  Fortunately, based on our Constitution, we each have the right to our individual beliefs.

Our economy is about to collapse.  I really believe that.  We’re too out of balance, and the wealthy are too convinced of their divine right to more for anyone to fix it.  The only way to fix our economy is to fix wages and get more people earning a livable wage.  Everything else is just a photo op.  Until the average worker can once again own homes and save for retirement and afford healthcare, our economy will continue to spiral out of control.  By the end of this year, many of us will be facing hard choices between buying a tank of gas or buying enough food for the week.  That’s not a sustainable economic reality, and it’s about to come crashing down.

This coming election is the biggest farce I’ve ever seen, laughable if not so tragic.  If those two men are the best we can do for the leader of the free world, then we’re already too far gone to save.  Politics has become theater of the grotesque, and I’m done being part of it.  Until we remove money and lobbyists from controlling elections and policy, we have no hope of a government that serves the people.  All we have is a circus sideshow, going through the motions of pretending to govern, closer to a Banana Republic than a functioning democratic republic.

All I can control is my own life.  I will continue to write my books and try to grow my own food and prepare for the New Dark Ages as best I can.  I won’t worry about whatever is coming because I can’t control it.  I won’t worry about who others choose to love because that’s none of my business.  I won’t boycott or support a fast-food joint out of irrational rage at “them.”  I’m simply going to live.  I’m going to work on forgiving those who’ve wronged me and bettering myself as a man.  That’s all I can do.  The rest is just a theater of mass distraction to keep the peasants bickering amongst themselves, while the plunderers finish emptying the coffers.

Rush Limbaugh Ramblings


Warning: potentially offensive material ahead.

BREAKING NEWS:  In a press conference from his corporate headquarters in Toledo, Ohio this morning, Satan announced that he has completed construction on his “special place” in hell for the king of shock-jocks, Rush Limbaugh.  Though vague on all the details, the devil did describe that Limbaugh will be required to wait tables for an exclusive clientele of well-educated, African-American women, will be denied access to all forms of pain medication, and will have to listen to a non-stop loop of Yanni’s Greatest Hits.  Satan assured the liberal media in attendance that Limbaugh’s hearing will be restored to full health upon his arrival in the underworld.

“We all know there have been worse people in the history of humanity,” the Prince of Darkness stated.  “Hitler comes to mind, as does Pol Pot, but from his overt racism, misogyny, homophobia, and megalomania, Limbaugh has earned this little corner of hell.”

After the press conference, the devil fielded questions from the biased journalists on hand, most of whom pleaded for more details about Limbaugh’s pending punishments.

“Look, I can’t give away too many of the family secrets,” Satan responded.  “We’ve been in the business of torturing twisted souls for thousands of years, but recently, there’s been an upswing in competition from international conglomerates.  I have to protect my proprietary property or risk falling behind in this increasingly crowded field.  But I can assure you, Rush will spend all of eternity with smoldering cigars wedged between the fatty folds of his ass cheeks.  That’s as much detail as I’m going to give, so don’t ask again.”

After the press conference, I scurried to South Carolina to get the reaction of Joseph Cartwright III, himself a long-time conservative talk radio host and blogger.

“Well, you know, when the advertising dollars start to dry up, you’re done in this business,” Cartwright said.  “I guess Rush will have to pay for no longer making lots of people lots of money.”

Confused and bewildered, I stared blankly.

“It’s simple, really,” he continued, noticing my expression.  “As long as hate speech is profitable, the powers that be turn a blind eye, but as soon as the money stops rolling in, everyone turns on you.  It’s a tough business, spreading hate and backwards thinking, but there is a lot of money to be made in stirring up the worst of people’s emotions.  Now that Rush is declining, I’m hoping for national syndication.”

Uncertain if Cartwright was onto something or completely insane, I headed to Mississippi to speak with Konrad K. Kristian, business leader and Tea Party activist.  If anyone understood Rush Limbaugh, it would be him.

“I just don’t know what to make of this here world,” Kristian said, tears in his eyes.  “Jesus was quite clear that we need to hate fags and coloreds, but now Rush is gonna be punished for following the Scriptures.  I just don’t understand.”

Touched by his display of compassion for a man doomed to an eternity of Yanni, I asked if he needed a moment.

“No, I’ll pray about this tonight, and I’m certain tomorrow we’ll find out this was all just a hoax by them liberal media bastards.  They’re out to get all us who follow the Word of hating them that ain’t right, and I know the good Lord will clear this right up.”

Editor’s Note:  Any reference to Satan, the devil, the Prince of Darkness, and hell was approved by Eternal Damnation, Inc. of Toledo, Ohio.  No part of this article may be reprinted or reproduced whatsoever without a blood-signed, notarized release from EDI and an official sacrifice of a virgin goat under a waning crescent moon.

Thursday Morning Ramblings

I only speak for myself and don’t purport to know the motivations and aspirations of the protesters at Wall Street, but if I were among their ranks, the following would be my clearly stated goals of the protest:

I want to live in a nation that respects and rewards a person’s contribution to society fairly and justly.  I would like to earn enough money to pay off my student loan debt, save for retirement, have access to adequate healthcare, and send my children to college, not feel at the end of the month as if I have to choose between food and gas.  I would like to know that my contribution as a professional educator is respected and appreciated, not just by my students and colleagues, but by society as a whole.

I want to live in a nation that holds corporations and CEO’s accountable for moving jobs overseas and hiding billions in profits offshore to avoid paying taxes.  I’d like to see CEO’s punished for bankrupting companies, not compensated with multi-million dollar severance packages.  I want companies to be held accountable if they poison our water supply, make our air unbreathable, taint our children’s toys with lead paint, contaminate our food supply with lethal bacteria, or in any other way recklessly endanger our lives in the name of profit.

I want to live in a nation that once again embraces innovation and ingenuity and doesn’t allow other countries to outpace us in technological advancement.

I want to live in a nation that respects all people who are willing to work full-time, regardless of occupation.  There is dignity and honor in contributing to society, whether that be as white collar, blue collar, or red collar.  All jobs are important, and anyone who is willing to work and be productive should be viewed, not with cynicism and disdain, but with appreciation and admiration.

I want to live in a nation that embraces diversity and respects everyone’s rights to freedom.  Liberty is our birthright, guaranteed by our Constitution, and these freedoms are granted to all citizens of this country regardless of sex, race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or any other artificial stratification created to keep us divided and bickering.  We are all American citizens, born with certain unalienable rights.

I want to live in a nation that celebrates and aspires to greatness, not promotes and rewards mediocrity.  Not so long ago, our music, our movies, our books were the best in the world.  Today, we create paper-thin melodies with no soul, recycle worn-out franchises, and cheer poorly written, cliche-riddled narratives.  We have half-baked reality shows rewarding talent-less jackasses and washed up celebrities.  We promote buffoonery and incivility, while creative geniuses play street corners for handouts.

I want to live in the America I was promised as a child, a land of freedom and opportunity, a place where if you built a better mouse-trap, the world would beat a path to your door.  Today, if you build a better mouse-trap, Corporate America and government bureaucracy will trample your aspirations with a myriad of confusing regulations and a maze of overbearing documentation, stifling your innovation in name of preserving the status quo.

Those would be my goals for the protests.