Anyone who has known me for awhile knows that Christmas has been a difficult time for me for the last 12 years. For those who don’t know, my ex-wife chose Christmas Day as the time to tell me she wanted a divorce. For too long, I couldn’t deal with what should be a joyous season. I avoided my favorite Christmas movies, family get togethers, friends, decorations, and anything else that reminded me of losing my family. I would drink myself into a blackout stupor on Christmas Eve and stay holed up completely alone throughout Christmas Day.
I’m writing this post for anyone out there who struggles with this time of year. You are not alone, even if it feels like you are. You are not defeated, even if it seems like everything is against you. Healing is possible. As long as you still draw breath, you can lift yourself up from the lowest depths of despair.
Healing begins with forgiveness. You absolutely must forgive the people who hurt you, not because they deserve it but because you do. Forgiveness removes the weight from yourself. It frees you from the poison of bitterness and allows you to move forward.
Today, I’m in a much better place with the holidays. I have watched all of my favorite movies over the last couple of years. I don’t become consumed by the sense of impending doom. I’m slowly beginning to enjoy the spirit of the holidays again. If I can heal from that wound, anyone can find the strength to heal from theirs.
If you need a helping hand through this time of year, comment on this post, and I promise I will respond. I might only be able to offer a few kind words, but I will make certain you know that you are not alone.
It’s becoming more and more difficult for me to get on social media these days. The constant flow of hate from Republicans and Democrats is overwhelming.
I can’t understand why anyone would want to spend so much time scouring Mr. Trump’s Twitter feed for something to be angry about. And vice versa. Conservatives are equally guilty of looking for the slightest little injustice to feed their daily outrage.
We are steadily marching towards civil war. Both sides have so dehumanized the other that it’s no wonder we have a fairly regular stream of mass shootings. All of the hateful memes and snarky posts and bellyaching commentaries about every single perceived injustice move us closer and closer to all out bloodshed.
I’m powerless to stop it. I’m one small voice in the wilderness, insignificant compared to the perpetual surge of hate that flows from social media each minute. All I know is that more hate will not defeat hate. Deeper darkness will not brighten the world. Only love and light can.
I know this blog entry will only reach a small amount of people. Those who engage with it will be far too few to make any difference in the coming storm, but those of you who do read it, I implore you to prepare what is coming. We as human beings cannot lose the good we have, the lofty ideals that we aspire to. Democracy, free markets, self-determination, free speech, free thought, the scientific method, personal accountability, empathy, competition, and cooperation, these concepts are what make us great, not the hate and vitriol of social media.
That’s all for now.
Today is my youngest son’s 13th birthday. I have a hard time believing that much time has passed, but it’s true. He’s a wickedly smart kid, who has completely taught himself more about computers than I can fathom. Once upon a time, I built one from scratch to put that in perspective.
He also marches to his own beat, unapologetically so, and could not care less what you or anyone else thinks about him. He’s observant and perceptive, has a poet’s soul, and possesses a scathing wit. He reminds me of a better version of myself, and I hope he finds his way in this world more easily than I have.
Happy birthday, son. Your dad loves you more than all the sand on all the beaches on all the world.
That’s all for now.