This is a follow up to the entry from this morning. It was brought to my attention that some of what I wrote could be misconstrued as an insult to my father and his efforts to provide for his family. Let me say as clearly and directly as possible that I respect and admire my father more than any other person I’ve ever known. A big reason for our struggles back then was a partner who robbed their business blind, skipped town, and left my father holding the bag. Instead of giving up and feeling sorry for himself, my father rebuilt a new business and made it fairly successful. During that time, he often worked two and sometimes three jobs to keep us afloat and sacrificed more than any one person should ever have to sacrifice for his family. If anyone mistook what I said as a criticism of him, please know that my father is one of the strongest, hardest working, and greatest human beings ever to grace this planet, and I have utmost respect and admiration for the job he has done as a parent and provider.
Tag Archives: spirituality
Tuesday Morning Ramblings
I wrote last night about how I have come to question all of the major decisions of my life, but I left out one decision I don’t regret. In my life, I’ve had every excuse to be a lowlife. My mother is bi-polar, and my childhood was a roller-coaster of her tumultuous outbursts from unbridled rage to threats of suicide. It would’ve been very easy for me to use that as an excuse to sit on my ass, abuse drugs, mooch off of others, and be a leech, but I chose to fight to overcome the obstacle.
We were also fairly poor for most of my childhood. At one point we lived in a single-wide trailer with no running water, no AC, and only a kerosene heater in the winter. I could’ve used that disadvantaged background as an excuse to become a thief or a drug dealer or some other form of a burden on society, but I chose to fight to overcome the obstacle, and while I’ve never really achieved anything resembling financial success, I’ve remained a productive contributor to society for my entire life.
At 16, I suffered a terrible accident that ended every dream and plan I had for my future. I could’ve used that as an excuse to give up and never amount to anything, but I chose to fight to overcome the obstacle.
After my marriage ended, I had every excuse to become one those men who uses women, takes advantage of them, cheats on them, mooches off them. I could’ve become that man, and most people would’ve shrugged and said that my spirit had been broken by the betrayal I endured. But I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and chose to remain true to the man I am inside. No woman, no person on this planet, not even my sons, will change who I am inside. I will not lower myself to becoming one of those men for any reason or under any circumstance. Instead, I will fight to overcome the obstacle.
So there is one decision that I’ve made in my life that I am proud of and I do not regret. I’ve chosen to remain true to myself and fight through every obstacle and boundary and betrayal that’s been placed in front of me. I always have and always will choose to be a decent human being who is a productive member of society, even if that society doesn’t appreciate it. I will always choose to fight for the core of who I am, and I will never allow myself to become the kind of lowlife who lies, cheats, mooches, and shirks responsibility.
Monday Afternoon Ramblings
Here is an update on the farm. Over the weekend, I finished the new section of wall along the far end. It’s not perfect, but it should be a decent improvement to the old wall that had gotten damaged by water, weeds, and pests. Overall, the building is coming along nicely. The flooding issue is nearly completely under control, and the outer wall should go up fairly quickly. Even though I’m far behind the original schedule I had set, I feel pretty good about the progress that’s been made so far. Right now, I hope to have the building usable in the next five weeks.
Once the building is in a usable condition, I’ll focus on getting the prototype operational. The biggest obstacle to that will be buying all of the equipment, but one way or the other, I’ll make it happen. It’s important to me to get the first unit off the ground and find out if it works efficiently. If so, things may begin to happen quickly. If not, then I’ll figure out what direction to go. The most important part is to have the prototype working so that I can know whether or not I’m on the right path.
Big Owl's Tree 