Tag Archives: farming

Monday Morning Ramblings

May 7, 2012 D.A. Adams 3 Comments

It’s a new day. Finals are over, papers are graded, and final grades are recorded. Because of low enrollment, I don’t have a summer class this year, and I’m looking at that as a blessing. The last two semesters have taken every ounce of energy I had to get through, and right now at this moment, I feel utterly exhausted. I need time to recharge my inner batteries and refocus my efforts on the things that matter to me. Book four takes top priority this summer, followed closely by the farm. These two endeavors offer the best opportunity to leave education, and I will give them as much of my time and energy as I can muster.

I probably won’t have much of a social life four the next few months. Other than getting my sons and attending the two conventions I’ve committed to, I don’t foresee venturing too far from the farm this summer. If I’m going to regain some measure of mental health and peace of mind, I have to focus my energy on re-establishing momentum on the book and seeing progress on the farm. Those two things will reinvigorate my spirit and heal me. Right now, I need that more than anything else.

I’ll get the boys mid-June through mid-July, and I’m hoping to be in a much happier, healthier state of being by then. The ordeals of the last two semesters have taken their toll, and I’m afraid today I wouldn’t be much good to them, so I’m going to use the next month to heal and prepare for them. They deserve the best of me while they’re here, and I intend to give it to them. They will be going to Fandom Fest with me at the end of June, and I’m excited to see their reactions to the festivities that are a con weekend. They both have such active imaginations and curiosities that the costumes and toys they’ll see there will probably amaze and dazzle them.

That’s all for now. Today, I intend on cleaning my place and tying up some loose ends on the semester, but I’m not putting any stress on myself in accomplishing either one. They’ll get done when they’re done. From this point forward, I’m making a conscious effort to stop worrying about the unimportant minutiae and not waste any more energy on trivialities. Life is too short as it is, and I need to focus my life and energy on what matters to me. It’s a small step forward but an important one, and hopefully, by making this change, I can move forward in the direction I want to go.

General Posts

Thursday Morning Ramblings

April 5, 2012 D.A. Adams 9 Comments

I’ve reached the point in my teaching career where I feel like I’m wasting my life. The skills I teach, writing, critical thinking, and to a lesser extent reading, seem life relics of a bygone era, and every semester, not only are the students less prepared coming into class, they also tend to act more resistant to learning even the basics. Sure, there are the occasional gems and the dedicated adults, but their numbers dwindle with each year. Now, after 14 years in the classroom, I truly feel burnt out, used up, frustrated, and ready for a substantive change.

Those who have followed me for a while have heard me gripe about these feelings before, but now, I can’t stress loudly enough that I really, really, really need out. I feel like I’m suffocating from the demands of the job, and with each passing hour of class prep and grading, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve lost yet another hour that could’ve been spent doing something more productive and more fulfilling for me. Right now, I’m honestly only here for the paycheck, and considering how paltry the money is in comparison to the effort required, that’s simply not adequate motivation to continue.

The downside is that I know I’m stuck for at least another year and a half because I’m too close to having my retirement vested to walk away today, and while that amount of money may not be enormous, it is enough that I would be stupid not to tough it out for at least 18 more months. But with every single day and every single essay graded, I feel a little piece of myself die and know the time wasted on most of the papers is that much less time left in my life to write my own works. I know there are some of you who feel trapped in your jobs and can relate to what I’m expressing.

The good part is now that my health is coming back, my focus is returning to the farm. Without that prospect of hope, I’m not certain I could make it, but having the opportunity to get it going provides me with at least the sense of an escape route. Over the next few months, I’m going to throw myself back into that project and make as much progress as I can. With a little luck and a lot of hard work, hopefully it will become productive enough that two years from now I can walk away from education permanently. One of the only things I know for certain is that I don’t have much more than that left in me.

General Posts

Thursday Morning Ramblings

March 22, 2012 D.A. Adams 4 Comments

After my illness last fall, I had nearly lost hope of ever launching the farm. With my left hand nearly useless and my balance all but gone, I knew that I couldn’t do the physical labor necessary to get it off the ground. Not knowing if I would ever feel normal again or if I would continue deteriorating compounded the problem because I didn’t want to pour a bunch of time and money into a project that I physically might not be able to sustain. Those feelings only added to my sense of helplessness and despair as I contemplated my future. At that point, I had no answers as to what was wrong with me; all I knew was that I felt terrible and seemed to be losing control of my body.

Today, I feel much better. Removing gluten from my diet has all but eliminated the vast majority of my symptoms. I still have some trembling and twitching in my left hand, and my balance is still a little suspect, but overall, I can do virtually everything I could before the onset of the illness. When I read the journal entries I wrote back in October and November, I’m astonished by how much healthier I feel today. Then, I wouldn’t have given you a nickel for my future because I was deteriorating so rapidly. Today, I honestly feel as if I could live a healthy, productive life for another 40-50 years. It’s an amazing turnaround.

So with that in mind, my attention again returns to the farm. I still believe in its potential to provide a long-term, sustainable method of not only providing food and revenue for my family but also for providing a blueprint for others in this region. Because of the efficiency of energy use and inherent purity of the produce, long-term hydroponic farming has many distinct economic advantages over traditional farming. Instead of being dependent upon the conditions of nature for sustenance, the plants receive consistent levels of full-spectrum light, water, and nutrients, therefore allowing for multiple crop cycles in a given year. Instead of losing 90% of their water to soil absorption, their roots are immersed in water and thus require much less total resources. Because of the use of liquid based nutritional supplements for each stage of growth, there’s no need for harsh fertilizers, and because of the indoor growth, there’s no need for dangerous pesticides and herbicides.

So again, I’m turning my attention and energy towards the farm. The wonderful thing I found the last couple of years, before the illness, is that working on the farm actually boosts my creative energy and allows me to write more than teaching does. After a full day of lecturing and grading, my brain is spent. After a day of hard labor, my mind is fresh and teeming with ideas, so long-term, if I can get the farm off the ground and operational, I believe it will improve my productivity as a writer. It’s a good feeling to once again have hope for a brighter, healthier future, and I plan on taking full advantage of my rebounding health to create not only entertaining books but also a viable, sustainable farm.