4th of July Ramblings

July 4, 2010 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

My sister is bringing over her girls tonight, and we’re gonna have a picnic up here followed by fireworks. I haven’t really celebrated the 4th for a couple of years, so it’s a nice step forward for me. This day is special for a number of reasons, and it’s nice to feel in a celebratory mood again.

I went out this morning and picked up some extra fireworks because the neighbors (and I use that term loosely because they are not neighborly in the slightest) are British. They have treated my parents and my cousin like crap for the last few years, so today, they are gonna get to experience the booms and bangs and flashes of an old-fashioned, all-American, to-hell-with-the-British-Empire celebration. I hope, sincerely hope, that they have the audacity to call the sheriff’s office tonight and in their smug British tones complain about the noise.

That’s all for now. Happy Independence Day!

General Posts

Saturday Morning Ramblings

July 3, 2010 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

Slowly but surely, the land is transforming from an overgrown tangle of honeysuckle and thistles to a usable piece of property. I’m keeping as many trees as I can for the shade and the CO2 factor, but the honeysuckle I will try to get under control over the next couple of years.

I have a lot of plans for the property, and so far, my dad is on board with the things I want to do. For starters, the building where my parents had their ceramic business will be gutted, cleaned up, and converted into an indoor, hydroponic growing facility for organic vegetables. The building has sat dormant for probably twelve years because when my mom’s health gave out on her, they had to shut down the ceramic shop, so cleaning it up and getting it usable will take some time. I would like to try to get far enough along to buy one unit and do a test crop of tomatoes over the winter. If that goes well, then we’ll expand as we can until the building is to capacity. We’ve also talked about a few other crops on different parts of the land, but we haven’t decided on those yet.

Another aspect of my plan involves installing solar panels on the roof of the building to produce energy. Eventually, I would like to make the farm self-sufficient, but that will take time. For now, I just want to capitalize on the southern facing rooftop that gets about four to five hours of direct sunlight every day. Thinking long-term, the investment now could really pay dividends down the road as energy costs continue to climb. One cool thing I learned is that Sharp has a facility here in Tennessee that produces solar panels, so we’ll more than likely go with them.

I’m sure some of you are shocked to learn that I’m starting up a farm because all you’ve known of me is the English teacher and the writer, but I’ve always had a yearning to do this. Growing things is stamped on my DNA. My mom could grow rice in the desert, and up until my dad, who grew up in that period when America was transforming from an agricultural to an industrial nation, my family has farmed for generations. I fully expect to continue teaching and writing for several years, but I need to supplement my income with something that is long-term and sustainable. I’ve been mulling this over for several years, and I’ve finally decided that it is the most feasible course I can take.

That’s all for now. Time to get back outside.

www.thirdaxe.com

General Posts

Late Night Ramblings

July 2, 2010 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

I’ve written on here a few times about the turmoils I’ve been through, and I’ve tried to remain open and honest about my feelings. Life has dealt me a few serious blows, and a couple of times, I’ve thought that I was down for the count. I’m not ashamed of my status, despite being fairly poor and barely scraping by. I work hard, my child support is paid in full every month, and my sons have insurance. And if I have to do without a few creature comforts to continue to be a decent father, that’s fine by me.

I’ve made some terrible choices with women. I don’t know if I’m just attracted to the wrong ones or if the wrong ones are attracted to me or if I’m just meant to live alone, but I do know for a fact that I need to break the cycle of allowing myself to get involved with women who want to play games behind my back, reward my loyalty with betrayal, and dismiss my love like yesterday’s trash. I’m too decent of a person to continue to allow myself to be treated in those ways, and even if I have to live alone for the rest of my days, I will not settle for anything less than a positive, healthy relationship if I ever do get involved with someone again. And I have the internal strength to live alone as a self-sufficient individual.

For the first time in two and a half years, I feel like I’m almost to my feet emotionally. The women who have betrayed and wounded me the worst will never again control my life. They had an opportunity to nurture my love and grow old with it for shelter and protection, but instead, they chose to turn on me and betray it. In the long run, that’s their loss, not mine, and even if I remain alone, I am better off without their negative anchors weighing me down. And when I lay my head on the pillow at night, my conscience is clear enough that I don’t have much trouble falling asleep.

My books may never be successful, but I do not regret the risks I took to get them on the market. I would take that chance again every single time. While I may not have succeeded, it wasn’t from lack of effort. I have no regrets and will carry my head high even if I never sell another copy because I had the discipline to complete them, the courage to put them out there, and the guts to pursue it will everything I had. I didn’t stand on the sidelines hoping for something to happen. I put my ass in the fire and tried to make something come to life.

And I’ll take a hundred million failures over a lifetime of passivity.