Tag Archives: parenting

Thursday Morning Ramblings

July 5, 2012 D.A. Adams 4 Comments

For now, I’m only going to focus on the positive that occurred in Louisville. Later on, I’ll vent about the negative.

For starters, The Galt House is a pretty nice place. Because I had the boys and my niece with me, I got a suite with two queen beds. Collin and Finn had never seen a suite before, and as we entered the room, both of them lit up like torches with excitement. All weekend, they referred to the room as our apartment. Their reactions to the room was worth the trip up there, and they had a great time playing in the pool and hanging out with Bri.

IMG_20120630_204700 — Bri taught Collin how to swim.

I also got to see many old friends and catch up with them. I don’t want to name anyone specifically for fear of leaving out a few, but if you and I spent some time hanging out and chatting last weekend, please know I enjoyed talking to you. I met several authors, as well, a handful of them fairly big names in the business, and enjoyed the opportunity to learn from them on panels and listen to their perspectives on the craft. A huge round of applause needs to go to Stephen Zimmer for organizing such a robust and diverse literary track. The quality of the track was top-notch.

Other than spending time with the boys and watching Collin pull his own loose tooth, the highlight of the weekend for me was getting to see John Rhys-Davies again and give him the new version of my series. I had met him back in 2005 when Brotherhood was in its infancy and I was a fledgling self-published author. He was kind enough back then to allow me to snap a few publicity photos, so I wanted to give him the new version as a way of saying thanks. Once again, he was kind and gracious, showing genuine interest in my successes as a writer and thanking me for the gift. We only got to speak for a couple of minutes, but I was grateful for the chance to thank him for what he did back in 2005.

Like I said, I’ll vent later. For now, I’ll relish the positive and take solace in the fact that my sons enjoyed the weekend.

IMG_20120629_143411 — My section of the Seventh Star Press booth.

For Collin and Finn

Tuesday Afternoon Ramblings

April 17, 2012 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

Dear sons, this is a cautionary tale about abusing drugs and alcohol. Right now, you are too young to comprehend this piece, but as you grow older, I hope you’ll read it and heed my warnings.

Drugs are tempting. The temporary high can be exhilarating, and the escape from reality can seem like the answer to all of your problems. But when it comes to drugs, both the high and the escape are lies. Over time, your body will build up tolerance for the drug, and you will need more and more of it to achieve the high, until you reach a point when you need it simply to feel normal. The escape is an even bigger lie because once you come down, all of your problems are still there, and more often than not those problems have become compounded by mistakes you made while high.

I have witnessed many lives destroyed by drugs, people with promise and potential who threw away their futures to temporarily feel good in the present. I’ve seen firsthand entire families ripped apart by addictions because drugs don’t just affect the user. Personally, I lost my relationships with my grandmother and grandfather because of the addictions of my aunt and cousins, and to this day I carry a lot of guilt for losing those relationships even though I wasn’t the one with the problem. The addicts bankrupted and drained my grandparents dry, sending them both to their graves earlier than they should have gone and robbing them of joy during their final few years.

In short, sons, drugs suck.

Alcohol is no better. In fact, because it is legal and considered socially acceptable, in many ways, it can be a worse addiction. Again, I’ve personally witnessed talented, intelligent people destroy their lives trying to find the bottom of a bottle. Well, there is no bottom, and once you cross the line from casual drinker to dependent, crossing back over becomes exceptionally difficult. You both need to be wary of alcohol because the addiction is prevalent on both sides of your family, and you have close relatives who lost their lives because of it.

I can also tell you that when I was younger, I struggled with alcohol. By the age of 22, I was very nearly a full-blown alcoholic, but fortunately, I was able to pull myself back from that abyss. I believe that my abuse of alcohol in my teens and early twenties has contributed greatly to the delays in finding success because I derailed myself early on, and it took me many years to get myself back on track. Today, by the grace granted to me, I can enjoy casual drinking, but every single day, I am wary of slipping back down that dark slope.

My hope for both of you is that you never have to face either of these issues firsthand, but the odds say you will, either with your own battles or through close friends and loved ones. Just know, that if that day comes, whether you are facing it yourself or dealing with someone who is, I will be there for you as much as I can. However, there will be a limit to what I can and will do for you because in the end you will be the ones who have to choose whether or not you allow drugs and alcohol to ruin your lives. From my experiences, I already know that I will not allow them to ruin mine.

For Collin and Finn

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

April 10, 2012 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

Dear sons, it makes me so proud to know both of you are embracing reading. I can’t stress enough how valuable and healthy this skill can be in your lives. Reading exercises your brain in a way nothing else can, which improves your intelligence, helps you retain more knowledge, and keeps you sharper longer. Reading is one of the best ways to learn new skills and self-educate, both of which can go a long way to achieving the self-sufficiency I’ve stressed to you before. Being literate empowers you in more ways than I can even begin to express. The older you get, the more you will be grateful for learning this skill and embracing it.

Reading is also fun. There’s not much more entertaining than diving into a new world and meeting new characters in a well-written story. If you read good books, you will rarely be bored, and your imaginations will grow immeasurably. Some of my fondest memories from childhood involve reading books, and much of what has shaped me into the man I am today came from the pleasures of reading. There’s nothing wrong with playing video games and watching shows/movies, but reading is a much better, much more beneficial, and much healthier activity.

One day soon, you’ll be old enough to read my books, and that thought both fills me with pride and terrifies me. If you love the stories, of course, I’ll be delighted, but if you don’t, I’m not sure how I’ll feel. I wrote them for you, hoping to share a heroic tale that would inspire you, and I care more about your approval than anybody else’s. So when the day comes when you do begin reading them, I’ll be more nervous than with any other reader. All I ask of you are two things: please be honest with me, and please be gentle.

Enjoy reading, guys. You have both entered into a pastime that can change and enrich your lives forever. You make me proud that you both enjoy learning so much and that you are beginning to absorb books. I promise you I will provide you with as many as I can find, and you will have an endless source of entertainment and education. I love you, boys.