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Thursday Morning Ramblings

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Three and a half years ago, I was a broken man.  The turmoils of the economy spiraling out of control had sapped me as I worked two full-time jobs just to tread water.  The unrealistic expectations of Tusculum College working me like a dog and treating me like a second-class citizen had exhausted my body.  The struggles to launch my writing career had dampened my spirit.  And the neediness of a lazy, selfish, lying, cheating wife had crushed my soul as I felt used and discarded like a bag of garbage.  Three and a half years ago, I had nothing left to fight with.

For two and a half years, I languished in hell, missing my children, feeling like a failure, believing myself at fault for everything, but still, I struggled to get to my feet.  Many nights, I cried myself to sleep.  Many mornings, I forced myself out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.  I wrote on book three, traveled to conventions, started this blog, taught my classes at Walters State and slowly, ever so slowly, lifted myself from the depths.

Today, I am not broken.  Today, my will has been reforged in the fires of hell and is stronger than ever before.  Today, my body is hale and virile.  My spirit is refreshed.  My soul is renewed.  Today, I am decent man, working as an instructor of English, writing my fourth book, and building an organic farm.  If you knew me three and a half years ago and believe I am weak and shattered, you will be surprised, for while I admit that back then all my fight was gone, today, I’m a new man.  Today, I’ve got the green light; I’ve got a little fight.  I’m gonna turn this thing around.  Can you read my mind?

General Posts

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

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I had a great time with my sons.  We had so much fun and got to have a wonderful time for the Fourth.  There were plenty of funny little moments that I would like to share, but I’m a little pressed for time, so I’ll have to write those another day.  They are growing up so fast.  My oldest wanted to stay longer, but we couldn’t work it out this trip.  I am going to make every effort to get them again at the end of the month for one more week.

I gave Collin an old cell phone so we can talk more often.  He figured out on his own how to text using the T9 predictive system, which just amazes me.  He can read and write pretty well for a seven year old, and he also can take pictures and send them.  He’s so happy with the phone, carrying it around like his most prized possession.  It’s a Casio Boulder, too, so he can be as hard on it as he likes and not destroy it.

Yesterday, I went to the farm and worked some more on the building.  I’ll go back today after lunch.  There’s a lot to do and very little time to get it done, so I’m going to have to kick it into overdrive for the next few weeks.  I may not get to write too many blogs for the rest of the summer, but I’ll try to provide a few updates to how things are going with the farm.  That’s all for now.

General Posts

Friday Afternoon Ramblings

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“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”

 Calvin Coolidge

I live by these words.  I now lecture on them in every class I teach.  If my students learn nothing else from me, I hope they learn the lesson of persistence.  History is littered with the successes of the the people who had the courage to push forward despite failures, setbacks, naysayers, critics, self-doubts, and struggles.  Thomas Edison comes to mind.  So does J. K. Rowling, who was rejected by 12 publishers before one accepted the Harry Potter series.  Colonel Sanders fought back from bankruptcy in his 60’s.

In graduate school, the will to write was crushed from my spirit.  My creativity and passion literally withered away, and I was left a hollow shell of a person.  For three to four years, I didn’t write anything to speak of, and I look back at that period as one of the bleakest of my life.  I gave up on myself, and looking back, I’m ashamed of that as much as anything in my life.

Life has knocked me down many times.  From the shotput accident, to graduate school, to the divorce, to the struggles to launch my writing career, the most important lesson I’ve learned is to keep fighting, to find my inner strength and believe in the possibilities of the future.  Three years ago I had every excuse to quit, and be perfectly honest, I nearly did.  Losing my children was by far the worst thing I’ve experienced.  Without them, nothing mattered.  Many nights I saw no hope of ever recovering from the loss, no hope of ever achieving success, no hope of being the man I wanted to be.

But something inside me held together, and I came to know that if I didn’t press on, I truly had no hope.  But if I fought with everything I had left, I at least had a chance to get to my feet.  Today, I’m a better man for it.  Nothing has been easy, but now, every little success is more fulfilling, each victory that much sweeter.  I won’t consider myself a success until the farm is running and my writing is profitable, but I will not stop “pressing on” until both of those have been accomplished.  If you are reading this and facing adversities of your own, please know that you too can overcome any obstacle and find your success.  All you have to do is dig in and fight with everything that’s in you.  And if you are willing to do that, good things will eventually come your way.