Tag Archives: inspiration

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

March 20, 2012 D.A. Adams 1 Comment

Part of my healing process to become a better man, father, and partner has been to re-evaluate my life and look at all the twists and turns and missteps I’ve traveled. I’ve worked in pizza on virtually every level, including mostly delivery; sweated and shivered in warehouses; drove a short-haul truck route; built a greenhouse; ran the front desk of hotels; cleaned tables as a bus boy; fallen on my face in retail; sold advertising, cars, and timeshare; tutored kids; lectured on composition, business communications, and speech; written books, short stories, articles, and Ramblings; and toiled at a variety of menial labor positions. From each of these experiences, I’ve learned something about myself and others and life in general.

While not every choice I’ve made has been right, I wouldn’t trade one moment of my past for anything better. Each step, each failure, each new attempt has brought me to today, to the man I’ve grown into. I happen to like this man. Sure, I’m stubborn and proud, battered and bruised, but I’m also more steadfast and dedicated to accomplishing my goals. I’ve learned our greatest strengths as a species are our capacity for compassion and ability to forgive. I’ve learned that through giving of ourselves without expectation of return we find peace and contentment. Even the smallest act of simple kindness can impact a person’s life profoundly.

I’m still a work and progress and have much patience and maturity to learn. I’m trying hard to let go of the anger and pain I feel towards those who have wronged me, and I’m hoping for forgiveness from those I’ve wronged. I’m grateful for each and every person who takes the time to read one of my books or silly Ramblings, and I’m humbled whenever someone finds entertainment or inspiration from what I’ve written. I’m blessed to have my health on the mend and grateful for each new day, each new opportunity to do something positive with my life. I’m grateful for all the friends and loved ones in my life; you are the greatest blessing a person could ask for.

I’ve learned to define success on my terms, without the encumbrance of preconceived expectations, and while I’m not financially where I want to be, in many ways, I’m more successful than I ever imagined possible. I’ve learned who I am and what I’m worth as a man, a father, a friend, and a lover, and that knowledge alone is worth all of the hardships. I’ve learned that nothing worth having comes easy, and while that may seem trite and mundane and cliche, it’s one of the truest truths in this world. All I can do, as a work in progress, is keep working hard, keep learning, keep growing, keep maturing, and keep striving. That is my path to my definition of success, and I will walk that path with my eyes open, my shoulders held high, and my head slightly bowed. In that manner, I will traverse my road, and in that manner, I will enjoy the journey.

General Posts

Monday Afternoon Ramblings

March 19, 2012 D.A. Adams 2 Comments

FantaSciCon was a blast. I had one of the best all around convention weekends of my career, from meeting new friends to selling a few books to simply relaxing. A very special thanks to Dutch and Mickey for having me down, and an even bigger thanks to everyone who was there. What the crowd lacked in quantity, it more than made up for in quality, and it’s always reinvigorating to be surrounding by intelligent, creative, passionate people who know so much more about so many things than I do. Con weekends always humble me in the best possible way by reminding me that this world is full of amazing people.

I will admit that on Friday, I was a little worried about the weekend because the crowd was pretty small, but as the weekend progressed and I got to have long, detailed discussions with the majority of the people there, I recognized that the intimacy of the show was more important than the volume. More than once, I’ve left much larger shows feeling as if I had barely been noticed by the crowd, but as I went around Sunday afternoon saying my good byes, I realized that virtually everyone there had at least learned my name. Dutch and Mickey both expressed that I had been a good guest and was welcome back to either of their two shows any time I wanted. To me, that’s more important than making a small splash at a huge show.

Other than Dutch and Mickey, I don’t want to mention anyone by name for fear of leaving someone out, but if you and I spent more than two minutes engaged in conversation this weekend, please know that I enjoyed getting to know you. Your stories and perspectives inspired me, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to have gotten to know you, whether for the first time or in more depth than before. I’m also grateful that all of you so graciously accepted me into the “family.” This weekend will always have a special place in my heart as one of the brightest spots of my career, and you people made this experience more meaningful to me than even attending Dragon*Con as a guest author. There, I was just another face in the crowd. Here, I was one of you, and that means so much more.

One of the coolest things that happened to me personally was finding someone who had bought a copy of Brotherhood six years ago in Chattanooga. He recognized the name of the book and remembered reading it. More importantly, he liked it enough to buy books two and three. Most importantly, he and I got to sit and talk for several hours over the course of the weekend, and he shared with me much of his passion and genius for mechanical engineering. That’s an example of what I meant before about being humbled. We writers are often guilty of believing ourselves smarter than everyone else, but getting to listen to someone who is truly gifted with a tangible skill talk in detail about his work reminded me that in the grand scheme of things, I’m just a dude who tells stories. And this weekend, I needed to be reminded that I’m just a guy with pain and difficulties and struggles, the same as everyone else in this world.

General Posts

Ides of March Ramblings

March 15, 2012 D.A. Adams 10 Comments

Warning: profanity ahead.

Here’s the simple, honest truth of where I am as a person: my tolerance for other people’s bullshit is gone. If I didn’t directly cause the issue that’s got your ass puckered, don’t turn your ire on me because the backlash will be painfully honest, unfiltered, and more than likely profane. If I did create the issue, I’ll be the first to apologize and make amends for my transgression, but if I didn’t, don’t even think about taking it out on me. When I was young and insecure and weak, I let too many people walk all over me and take advantage of me and trample my self-esteem, but the great thing about a little stroll through hell is that it reforges your will into something stronger, something more resilient, and at times something a little meaner.

My trip through hell mostly consisted of losing my children and learning to live with that emptiness in my heart. I was stripped bare to my soul and forced to look at myself void of any facade. I saw myself pretty clearly: the flaws, the scars, the wounds, and the good. In those darkest moments, when I truly was alone and had nothing, something quite amazing happened. I learned to love myself. I have every excuse in the universe to be a son of a bitch, a user, a junkie, a drunk, or a derelict, but instead of allowing others to rob me of the goodness and decency in my heart, I’ve continued to live by compassion, respect, loyalty, devotion, and enterprise, and no one on this earth will ever dampen my self-esteem again.

I’ve also, quite literally, faced my own mortality three times so far. At 8, I got a serious blood infection from a tick bite and at the worst weighed 40 pounds. Obviously, I was too young then to comprehend the gravity of that situation, but as an adult, I get it. At 16, I endured the shotput accident and learned the fragility of life. At 38, I thought my body was failing me and had to deal with the prospect of losing my independence and possibly my life before my children were grown. To a man like me, that’s about as terrifying as it gets, but I’ve endured all three and come through the other side stronger, wiser, and yes, a little harder.

So before you step to me with some self-generated bullshit or something someone else has done to ruffle your feathers, you better take a long, close look in my eyes and make sure you’re prepared for the blow-back because I will not tolerate it, not from you, not even from my sons. I’ve paid my motherfucking dues and have earned the right to stand up for myself. And you best believe me when I say if I can live without my kids in my life every day, I damn sure can live without you, no matter who you are. If you come at me with respect and treat me with dignity, you’ll find a pretty decent man who will offer you courtesy and compassion, tolerance and acceptance, but if you cross my line in the sand, just be forewarned that this hardened piece of hickory has a little sting to it.