Tag Archives: health

General Posts

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

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Part of my healing process to become a better man, father, and partner has been to re-evaluate my life and look at all the twists and turns and missteps I’ve traveled.  I’ve worked in pizza on virtually every level, including mostly delivery; sweated and shivered in warehouses; drove a short-haul truck route; built a greenhouse; ran the front desk of hotels; cleaned tables as a bus boy; fallen on my face in retail; sold advertising, cars, and timeshare; tutored kids; lectured on composition, business communications, and speech; written books, short stories, articles, and Ramblings; and toiled at a variety of menial labor positions.  From each of these experiences, I’ve learned something about myself and others and life in general.

While not every choice I’ve made has been right, I wouldn’t trade one moment of my past for anything better.  Each step, each failure, each new attempt has brought me to today, to the man I’ve grown into.  I happen to like this man.  Sure, I’m stubborn and proud, battered and bruised, but I’m also more steadfast and dedicated to accomplishing my goals.  I’ve learned our greatest strengths as a species are our capacity for compassion and ability to forgive.  I’ve learned that through giving of ourselves without expectation of return we find peace and contentment.  Even the smallest act of simple kindness can impact a person’s life profoundly.

I’m still a work and progress and have much patience and maturity to learn.  I’m trying hard to let go of the anger and pain I feel towards those who have wronged me, and I’m hoping for forgiveness from those I’ve wronged.  I’m grateful for each and every person who takes the time to read one of my books or silly Ramblings, and I’m humbled whenever someone finds entertainment or inspiration from what I’ve written.  I’m blessed to have my health on the mend and grateful for each new day, each new opportunity to do something positive with my life.  I’m grateful for all the friends and loved ones in my life; you are the greatest blessing a person could ask for.

I’ve learned to define success on my terms, without the  encumbrance of preconceived expectations, and while I’m not financially where I want to be, in many ways, I’m more successful than I ever imagined possible.  I’ve learned who I am and what I’m worth as a man, a father, a friend, and a lover, and that knowledge alone is worth all of the hardships.  I’ve learned that nothing worth having comes easy, and while that may seem trite and mundane and cliche, it’s one of the truest truths in this world.  All I can do, as a work in progress, is keep working hard, keep learning, keep growing, keep maturing, and keep striving.  That is my path to my definition of success, and I will walk that path with my eyes open, my shoulders held high, and my head slightly bowed.  In that manner, I will traverse my road, and in that manner, I will enjoy the journey.

General Posts

Ides of March Ramblings

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Warning: profanity ahead.

Here’s the simple, honest truth of where I am as a person: my tolerance for other people’s bullshit is gone.  If I didn’t directly cause the issue that’s got your ass puckered, don’t turn your ire on me because the backlash will be painfully honest, unfiltered, and more than likely profane.  If I did create the issue, I’ll be the first to apologize and make amends for my transgression, but if I didn’t, don’t even think about taking it out on me.  When I was young and insecure and weak, I let too many people walk all over me and take advantage of me and trample my self-esteem, but the great thing about a little stroll through hell is that it reforges your will into something stronger, something more resilient, and at times something a little meaner.

My trip through hell mostly consisted of losing my children and learning to live with that emptiness in my heart.  I was stripped bare to my soul and forced to look at myself void of any facade.  I saw myself pretty clearly: the flaws, the scars, the wounds, and the good.  In those darkest moments, when I truly was alone and had nothing, something quite amazing happened.  I learned to love myself.  I have every excuse in the universe to be a son of a bitch, a user, a junkie, a drunk, or a derelict, but instead of allowing others to rob me of the goodness and decency in my heart, I’ve continued to live by compassion, respect, loyalty, devotion, and enterprise, and no one on this earth will ever dampen my self-esteem again.

I’ve also, quite literally, faced my own mortality three times so far.  At 8, I got a serious blood infection from a tick bite and at the worst weighed 40 pounds.  Obviously, I was too young then to comprehend the gravity of that situation, but as an adult, I get it.  At 16, I endured the shotput accident and learned the fragility of life.  At 38, I thought my body was failing me and had to deal with the prospect of losing my independence and possibly my life before my children were grown.  To a man like me, that’s about as terrifying as it gets, but I’ve endured all three and come through the other side stronger, wiser, and yes, a little harder.

So before you step to me with some self-generated bullshit or something someone else has done to ruffle your feathers, you better take a long, close look in my eyes and make sure you’re prepared for the blow-back because I will not tolerate it, not from you, not even from my sons.  I’ve paid my motherfucking dues and have earned the right to stand up for myself.  And you best believe me when I say if I can live without my kids in my life every day, I damn sure can live without you, no matter who you are.  If you come at me with respect and treat me with dignity, you’ll find a pretty decent man who will offer you courtesy and compassion, tolerance and acceptance, but if you cross my line in the sand, just be forewarned that this hardened piece of hickory has a little sting to it.

General Posts

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings

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Not three months ago, I could barely climb a flight of stairs without feeling like I was going to fall.  My left hand was nearly unusable from the trembling and twitching, and by noon each day I felt so exhausted from having to concentrate on mundane tasks that I could barely get through the rest of the day.  Three months ago, I literally thought I was losing the ability to function and possibly even dying.  It was a terrifying experience.  Those who really know me know I’ve never been a hypochondriac, and many of my students and colleagues verbalized how haggard I looked.  Some expressed outright concern for my life.  Just three short months ago.

Nine months ago, I could work from early morning until late evening, doing hard physical labor, but then still have the energy to write.  Sometime around mid-July, I started noticing that my left hand was bothering me, and by mid-September, I had all of the symptoms listed above.  Nine months ago, I felt healthier than I had since I was a teenager, and within a couple of months could barely function.  It was a wild roller coaster ride, believe me.

Monday, I sat looking at the nearly full acre of land I had cleared over the previous four days.  Using both hands fairly well, I handled a chainsaw, loppers, and a walk-behind brush cutter.  I carried logs that easily weighed fifty pounds each across the acre to the burn pile without losing my balance.  In three short months, I went from barely able to climb stairs comfortably to able to traverse uneven ground with a heavy load.  If that’s not an amazing recovery, I don’t know what is.  While I don’t quite feel 100% normal, I would now put myself somewhere around 80-85%.  I can function relatively normally without having to concentrate so much on handwriting or typing.  My minds feels less sluggish.  My legs no longer feel welded to the ground.  And I feel like I’m living again, not dying.

The only major difference in my daily life over the last two to three years has been the consumption of gluten.  For many years, I had practically eliminated it from my diet.  Then, slowly, I started reintroducing it, thinking I was making healthy choices by eating whole wheat breads and multi-grain pastas, but probably the single biggest source of gluten for me was beginning to drink beer again.  I love to have a cold beer or two after a hard day.  I almost never drink until I’m drunk, but I do enjoy the flavor of a good beer.  For the first 30 years of my life, I consumed gluten with nearly every meal and became very unhealthy.  For 6-7 years, I all but eliminated it from my life and became very healthy and energetic.  Then, I added it back in and within a year became so sick I thought I was dying.  Now, a mere three months after eliminating it from my diet completely, I’m on my way back to health.  I don’t need much more proof than that.

My point of all of this is that if you are experiencing unexplained health problems and your doctors can’t seem to find an answer, please find a specialist who really understands gluten sensitivity.  I am walking, living proof of the perils it can pose to one’s health.  Living without gluten is not nearly as hard as you might think, and the positive benefits far outweigh the small sacrifices in comfort foods.  Even if your regular doctor scoffs at gluten or Celiac and tells you it couldn’t possibly be that, please find a specialist and get a second opinion.  It quite literally could be the difference between living an active, healthy full life or feeling your life drain away from you.

http://www.celiac.org/