Monday Evening Ramblings

October 11, 2010 D.A. Adams 1 Comment

I’m trying desperately to focus on my long-term goals to carry me through this semester. My morale is very low, and if given a legitimate opportunity, I would jump ship in the blink of an eye. Every day it gets a little more difficult to care more about my students’ educations than they do, and that frustration is wearing me down.

So instead of focusing on what I’m doing day to day, I’m thinking about why I’m earning this paycheck: 1) to keep my child support up-to-date and 2) to get the farm operational. Outside of that, I am trying to no longer let the job get to me. I’ve given my all, and that’s not been good enough, so I’ll give what I can and let the future unfold as it will.

Many of us have sounded the alarm bell, and to date, it has gone unheeded. I refuse to feel guilty for turning away from this profession.

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General Posts

Poetic Ramblings, Too

October 6, 2010 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

Again, I’m no poet, but this one is for my baby boy:

For Finn

My little bruiser,
I see you at one,
grabbing my pants at the knees
for me to lift you.
Looking down at your face
is like looking into a mirror
back through time
before these scars and lines.

We are on my porch swing.
Your head rests on my shoulder,
and I feel your soft breath
through my shirt.
I’m singing lullabies to you,
but at two you still fight sleep,
so we swing for an hour,
and I sing you every song I know.

My little clone,
we are in the pool.
You cling to me
like a cat not wanting to leave the sofa,
at three still scared to float alone
even with a life jacket.
You squeal with delight
at every bounce we take,
and I’m glad the water
hides my tears.
Our time is always so short.

My youngest boy,
my Finnster,
your voice is the sweetest sound
on this Earth, so ethereal, so tender.
Your laughter pieces back together
these fragments of my heart.
My son, I never believed I was handsome
until I saw your face.

General Posts

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

October 6, 2010 D.A. Adams Leave a comment

Here’s an update on my venture into running: When I first started, I could barely complete 1/6 of a mile. Now, my routine has become walk a mile, run 1/3, walk a mile, run 1/3, walk a mile, run 1/3, for a total of four miles. Currently, I complete this routine in about an hour and five minutes, which averages to walking a mile in 19 minutes and running each 1/3 in less than 3:45. I know these times are still really slow, but I feel my endurance coming back and some strength returning to my legs, so I hope to get the walking down to fifteen and the running to around 3:00. Ultimately, my goal is to build up to three consecutive miles running in thirty minutes. It will take me a little while to get there, but I will do it.

So far, I’ve lost a couple of inches around the waist, but my weight hasn’t come down any, so I’m hoping that I’m just building back some muscles. My blood pressure is still too high, so I really need to get this weight off me. I’m making some adjustments in my diet and will continue running as often as I can. Overall, I feel pretty healthy, but the blood pressure is still worrying me.

Also, the farm is still progressing forward, albeit slowly. This semester has been so brutal that I barely have time to get there and do anything, but I hope to stay on schedule and get the first test crop started in January. I’m very excited about the possibilities there. We shall see.