Tag Archives: relationships

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

There’s a trend in education that scares me even more than the poverty level wages and standardized testing.  That trend has to do with online and mobile classes in which the majority, if not all, course material is exchanged electronically.  Some of my friends have earned online degrees, and I’m not trying to offend them or insult their education.  For some, that system works, but what worries me is what we lose from education when there is limited human interaction between the teacher and students.

Education is about more than the quantifiable data bureaucrats can measure and mull.  In fact, standardized testing is one of the worst measures of education there is, but that’s another debate, not the focus of this entry.  Education, quality education, is not about memorizing data and recalling it in a multiple choice scenario.  Quality education is about learning how to think critically for yourself, how to behave publicly, and how to interact with each other in a civilized manner.  To me, all three are equally important, but with online and mobile education, the last two are hardly an afterthought.

Because the interaction is limited to emails, texts, and chats, the depths of dynamic human communication, most of which is nonverbal, is lost from the system.  Basic public conduct, such as listening intently, is not engaged.  Talking one-on-one, one of the most fundamental aspects of all human behavior, is also left out.  The end result is a populace with under-developed social skills and a general loss of fundamental manners/etiquette.  We are already seeing the effects of this in businesses that rely on teenagers and twenty-somethings for their workforce.  Customer service is abysmal, and simple courtesy is rare.  As education shifts more and more away from human interaction to electronic discourse, human behavior will continue to erode.

I’m not one who believes education is the answer to all of our problems.  There is only so much the system can do to improve what is absent from children and young adults’ home life, but basic human interaction is one area where educators can have an impact.  Unfortunately, in a misguided effort to assimilate with the now prevalent over-dependence on electronics, educators are losing the ability to teach these fundamental and imperative skills.

There is no magic bullet that will solve this crisis, and as someone on the front-lines of education, I know it has reached crisis status.  Until some measure of autonomy is returned to educators and unless we can lessen the dependence on electronic gadgets for every aspect of our lives, we will continue to see worse and worse social skills.  That worries me for our future, for the kind of society we are creating.  Interpersonal communication is the touchstone of nearly every human endeavor, and without it, we will regress into a much more primitive culture.

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

I wrote last night about how I have come to question all of the major decisions of my life, but I left out one decision I don’t regret.  In my life, I’ve had every excuse to be a lowlife.  My mother is bi-polar, and my childhood was a roller-coaster of her tumultuous outbursts from unbridled rage to threats of suicide.  It would’ve been very easy for me to use that as an excuse to sit on my ass, abuse drugs, mooch off of others, and be a leech, but I chose to fight to overcome the obstacle.

We were also fairly poor for most of my childhood.  At one point we lived in a single-wide trailer with no running water, no AC, and only a kerosene heater in the winter.  I could’ve used that disadvantaged background as an excuse to become a thief or a drug dealer or some other form of a burden on society, but I chose to fight to overcome the obstacle, and while I’ve never really achieved anything resembling financial success, I’ve remained a productive contributor to society for my entire life.

At 16, I suffered a terrible accident that ended every dream and plan I had for my future.  I could’ve used that as an excuse to give up and never amount to anything, but I chose to fight to overcome the obstacle.

After my marriage ended, I had every excuse to become one those men who uses women, takes advantage of them, cheats on them, mooches off them.  I could’ve become that man, and most people would’ve shrugged and said that my spirit had been broken by the betrayal I endured.  But I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and chose to remain true to the man I am inside.  No woman, no person on this planet, not even my sons, will change who I am inside.  I will not lower myself to becoming one of those men for any reason or under any circumstance.  Instead, I will fight to overcome the obstacle.

So there is one decision that I’ve made in my life that I am proud of and I do not regret.  I’ve chosen to remain true to myself and fight through every obstacle and boundary and betrayal that’s been placed in front of me.  I always have and always will choose to be a decent human being who is a productive member of society, even if that society doesn’t appreciate it.  I will always choose to fight for the core of who I am, and I will never allow myself to become the kind of lowlife who lies, cheats, mooches, and shirks responsibility.

Late Night Ramblings

Sometimes, I feel as if every decision of my life has been wrong.  I question going to college when I had the opportunity to run a fairly successful business my father owned.  Instead of a mountain of student loan debt, I could possibly still have that business.  I question attending Memphis.  I question studying writing.  I outright regret attending graduate school.  All of these decisions have hampered my professional career and left me little more than a second class citizen in a nation that only rewards greed and corruption.

I married the wrong woman and then compounded that mistake by staying in the marriage much too long.  I love my children and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but the marriage was a mistake and has hampered every aspect of my life to this day.  I also regret how I handled my divorce, conceding way too much and leaving myself with too few rights as far as my children are concerned.  I also regret not taking the first two years after the divorce, staying alone, and healing.

I question my decision to teach for Tusculum, to teach period, but especially for them.  Simply put, they are a terrible school that treats their faculty like dirt.  I regret wasting my youth on them.  I also question my decision to return to education after I had escaped.  WSCC is a good school, but I’m no longer happy teaching and wish I had done something else.

I question my decision to self-publish.  I can’t really say it’s amounted to anything other than a few good friends and a handful of good memories.  Financially, it was a disaster.  Given the opportunity to go back, I probably wouldn’t do it over.

In short, just about every major decision of my life has been wrong in one way or another.  I feel like a fool of the grandest scale and also feel like I can’t trust my own judgment.