Tag Archives: ramblings

Tuesday Afternoon Ramblings

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone in the workplace adopts the attitude, “That’s not my job.”  It’s especially irritating when that someone normally behaves in a very casual, laid-back manner, taking liberties with the day-to-day regulations that overwhelm a state facility.  I rarely ask anyone else to do anything for me, so when I’m spread thin from teaching an overload and dual enrollment, do ask for a little help, and then get that attitude, I take it personally.  Nowhere in my job description does it implicitly direct me to be nice to staff, so don’t be surprised if I stop going beyond my job duties, too.

IF I were the kind of co-worker who constantly asked others to carry my share of the load, maybe then you could draw a line in the sand and tell me that enough’s enough, but I’m not.  I come in early everyday and stay late most of the time.  I make my own copies, grade my own materials, teach my own lectures, serve on my own committees, produce my own assessments, and administer my own tests.  I work hard all week and most weekends, and while I might complain about the bullshit, I get my job done.  If you’re too busy to help me when I really need it, don’t expect me to waste my energy being kind to you.  I’ll save my energy to deal with the ripple of bullshit that you caused me today with your little tantrum.

And to the Princess who still gives me the cold shoulder because you didn’t get your way, get over it.  I’ve got a cold shoulder, too, and I don’t care a bit to use it.  This job is too demanding and too stressful for me also to take attitude from bitter, old women.

Venting done.

Sunday Morning Ramblings

This time last year, I was over halfway through my first Dragon*Con as a guest author.  It should’ve been a great event for me, but a selfish person decided to create drama and ruin it.  Still, I did perform fairly well on my panels, and I made a lot of good contacts.  The convention itself is something to behold — the costumes, the creativity, the passion.  The people who attend it are, for the most part, huge fans of science fiction and fantasy, and for many of them, Labor Day weekend has become a sacred time.

I’m proud that I was part of it.  For an unknown independent, being accepted was a major victory because I got in based solely on my talent and my efforts.  Not everyone can say that.  I also feel like I made a good showing of myself despite the unnecessary drama.  Still, I’m not sure how much of an impact the show has had on my writing career.  Not much is different from before and after.  I can’t point to a jump in sales and say that it was directly because of Dragon*Con, so I’m not sure if it was worth all the effort.

What a difference a year makes.  This year, obviously, I wasn’t invited back as a guest, and because of my health issues, even if I had been, I probably would’ve had to cancel.  Also, and more importantly, I’ve decided to stop chasing success as a writer.  I still plan to write and create good stories for the rest of my life, but I will no longer stress over and sacrifice for becoming successful as a novelist.  There are more important things in my life.

Which brings me to my last point for today’s rambling: Today is my youngest’s fourth birthday.  I simply can’t believe that he is four.  On one hand, it seems like he should still be a year old, reaching up and grabbing hold of my pants’ legs for me to pick him up after I got home from work.  On the other, it feels like much more time has passed over the last three years.  Some days, it feels like a whole lifetime has come and gone.  Dagan might understand what I mean about that combination of the blink of an eye and a snail’s pace.  It’s a strange juxtaposition of sensations, one that these words don’t do justice to.

Happy birthday Finn!  Daddy loves you very much, and I can’t wait to see you soon.

Thursday Afternoon Ramblings

Another update: I’ve recently started running again.  It’s been 18 years since I ran regularly, so getting back into it took a major build-up of courage for me.  I’ve never been a good runner, but the workout is really good for my heart and blood pressure.  After just a couple of weeks, I can already make two 1/3 of a mile laps at the park.  I can’t complete them consecutively yet, so that’s why I didn’t write 2/3 of a mile.  Still, I feel pretty good about my progress in such a short time.

My goal is to get back to 3 miles a day.  That’s what I ran back in the football days, and I feel pretty confident that I can get back to that level.  Also, I would like to make it in thirty minutes.  That’s just a ten minute mile, which isn’t all that fast, so I feel like it’s a realistic goal to start with.  Once I make that, I’ll work on getting the time down.

Running will help me get down to my goal weight and get my blood pressure under control.  It’s also a great stress release, so maybe all the stress of dual enrollment and my overload schedule won’t overwhelm me this semester.  We’ll see.

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