Tag Archives: inspiration

Monday Night Ramblings


I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our country, the economy, the lack of enthusiasm for the upcoming election, democracy, homosexuality, Chik-Fil-A, and all the crap we as Americans deal with on a daily basis.  First and foremost, let me say that this post is not intended to be inflammatory or sensational, so if you get offended, you probably need to grow a thicker skin because I’m not intending to be offensive.

We live in crazy times, an era defined by rampant intolerance.  That intolerance is not restricted to one political party as some would have you believe.  It comes from both sides.  Look at the recent uproar over a fast-food chicken restaurant.  One side wants the company put out of business, while the other created traffic jams to get their unhealthy glob of grease.  It was sheer insanity, a classic example of irrational hate mongering by both extremes.  In America, if you truly want to be free, you have to drop this us versus them mentality.  If you don’t like a company’s policies, simply don’t do business with them.  Soberly and politely encourage your friends who share your values to do the same.  But don’t try to infringe upon that person’s rights to think and believe as they see fit.  That’s not democracy; that’s called fascism.

On the other hand, if you think you’re ordained with an inherent right to dictate to others what is right or wrong because you think your invisible man in the sky told you to, you need to back up.  In this country, we have the right to believe or not believe as we see fit, and you don’t have the right to shove your religion down anyone else’s throat.  You can believe in your guilt-god all you want.  That’s your right.  The moment you start telling me how to live my life based on your beliefs, we’ve got a problem.  I don’t believe it and refuse to live my life based on ancient books written by barbaric peoples and rewritten by feudal kings to control peasants.  Fortunately, based on our Constitution, we each have the right to our individual beliefs.

Our economy is about to collapse.  I really believe that.  We’re too out of balance, and the wealthy are too convinced of their divine right to more for anyone to fix it.  The only way to fix our economy is to fix wages and get more people earning a livable wage.  Everything else is just a photo op.  Until the average worker can once again own homes and save for retirement and afford healthcare, our economy will continue to spiral out of control.  By the end of this year, many of us will be facing hard choices between buying a tank of gas or buying enough food for the week.  That’s not a sustainable economic reality, and it’s about to come crashing down.

This coming election is the biggest farce I’ve ever seen, laughable if not so tragic.  If those two men are the best we can do for the leader of the free world, then we’re already too far gone to save.  Politics has become theater of the grotesque, and I’m done being part of it.  Until we remove money and lobbyists from controlling elections and policy, we have no hope of a government that serves the people.  All we have is a circus sideshow, going through the motions of pretending to govern, closer to a Banana Republic than a functioning democratic republic.

All I can control is my own life.  I will continue to write my books and try to grow my own food and prepare for the New Dark Ages as best I can.  I won’t worry about whatever is coming because I can’t control it.  I won’t worry about who others choose to love because that’s none of my business.  I won’t boycott or support a fast-food joint out of irrational rage at “them.”  I’m simply going to live.  I’m going to work on forgiving those who’ve wronged me and bettering myself as a man.  That’s all I can do.  The rest is just a theater of mass distraction to keep the peasants bickering amongst themselves, while the plunderers finish emptying the coffers.

Thursday Afternoon Ramblings


I’ve reached a point with this manuscript where I feel like the story is either coming together perfectly or splintering into something incoherent.  I can’t tell which right now.  Up to this point, I’ve felt pretty good with the focus and direction of the plot points, but right now, as everything compresses together for the climax, it feels unruly, and for the first time in my writing career, I feel like I’ve painted myself into a corner without being certain how to paint myself back out.  Part of that is because of the twist that occurred around chapter nine, one which I kind of anticipated but wasn’t certain would happen.  Once it happened, it has taken on a life of its own and completely changed the ending of this book from what I had envisioned.  From experience, I know that can actually be a good development, but I also know that if I lose control of the natural flow, the ending could disintegrate on me.

It’s a delicate balance between allowing the story to develop naturally and steering it in the proper direction.  On the one hand, I feel like this twist has been pretty powerful and will change the entire complexion of Roskin as the protagonist.  On the other, I don’t want to force the climax to happen in a way that seems contrived.  The biggest obstacle I’ve encountered is making the time of the various plot points come together precisely without relying on some cheap trick to have it work.  Over the next few nights, I have to figure out how to blend it all together or risk losing the tension that’s coming to a head.

This is one half the exhilaration of writing and one half the madness of it.  I love when these surprises happen, and I know my best course of action as a writer is to get out of the way and let the story tell itself.  However, for four books, I’ve been juggling various plot threads to bring them together at this moment, and now that I’m there, it feels as if the threads are unraveling on me.  These next two and a half chapters will determine what quality of writer I am.  If I can make this work, I feel like this will a very good book.  If I can’t, the whole series could implode on me.  And I only have a week and a half before the semester begins.

No pressure.

Wednesday Night Ramblings

boys
Dear sons, since you’ve gone back to Florida, I’ve missed you desperately.  When you’re here, I feel whole and alive and happy.  When you’re gone, there’s an emptiness in my heart nothing can fill.  I don’t know why you haven’t been calling me as much as you used to, but I miss talking to you and hearing about your days.  You’re both growing up so fast, and I want to share as much time as I can with you.  You’re my guys, and I love you both more than you can imagine right now.

I’m exhausted from working on this book.  It has taken nearly everything out of me to write it this summer, but I’m almost finished.  One day, if you read my books, I hope you’ll both know that I wrote them for you, to give you something of me that you could cherish and remember and pass on to your children and grandchildren.  You both are my inspiration and motivation, and even though we aren’t together as much as I’d like, I hope one day you’ll find joy in reading this series.

It’s almost time for me to write tonight, and both of you are probably sound asleep right now.  I wish with all my heart I could pop my head in your room, watch you sleep for a few minutes, and kiss your foreheads.  There’s not much harder for parents than to be separated from their children, and for me nighttime is the worst.  While I’m writing, I hope both of you are enjoying happy dreams and resting comfortably.  Please, know that I’m always thinking about you and missing you.  Hopefully, I will see you again soon, and hopefully, we will talk tomorrow.