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General Posts, Ramblings of Thanks

Friday Morning Ramblings – Thankful #5

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I’m grateful for my job.  On the same day I was hired for this position, my best friend was laid-off from his.  In this economy, it took him nearly a year to find work.  Even though I grumble and complain about the state of education and the downward spiraling of student apathy, I am grateful for the position.  My child support is paid in full every month, my children have health insurance, and I have enough left over to survive on for the month.  Things could be much, much, much worse for me.  So I’m thankful for my position at the college.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity to pass along knowledge.  There are still a handful of students who care about learning, and I still enjoy engaging those students and watching them get it.  I enjoy seeing the single mothers gain self-confidence and the young men who hid in their shells during high school slowly crawl out and find their voices.  I am grateful for the opportunity to serve these students and hopefully bring out of them something they didn’t know they had.  That aspect of the job is still gratifying and fulfilling.  I am thankful that through education my life has been about more than self-gratification and that my value as a human being is higher than my net worth on a spreadsheet.  I’m thankful that I have given something back to my society.

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General Posts, Ramblings of Thanks

Thursday Afternoon Ramblings – Thankful #4

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I’m thankful to have found stable ground for the first time in fifteen years.  Today, I’m free to be myself, without having to worry about someone’s jealousy, insecurity, or fear of abandonment.  For the most part, I have peace and stability with very little drama, very little neediness, and virtually no mistrust.  Emotionally, I feel happier and healthier than I can ever remember.  It’s a good place, and I’m grateful to have found this solid ground.

I’m also grateful to feel appreciated.  For too many years of my life, I was made to feel as if nothing was good enough or even just enough, period.  I constantly felt as if I were having to earn love on a day to day basis, and let me tell you, that’s no way to live.  I’m thankful not to be in that place anymore, and there aren’t words for how grateful I am to have the little things acknowledged, appreciated, and reciprocated.  After years and years of feeling unappreciated, I cherish being adored and respected.  I will not take that for granted because I know all too well how the other end of the spectrum feels.  I will make an effort every single day to express my thankfulness for being noticed and appreciated.

Humor

Tolerance Ramblings

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After Pastor Jim Swilley came out of the closet in front of his congregation in Georgia, I received a phone call from Hal Golightly, a fashion designer in New York City and a regular on Bravo’s “Real Gay Fashion Designers Catfights.”  It seems that Pastor Swilley has inspired Hal to come forward with a confession of his own.  Since the Jew-run, liberal media won’t cover these kinds of stories, I agreed to meet him at an undisclosed location for a covert interview.

“The truth is” Hal began, his real dialect nothing like his on-screen persona. “I’m not really gay.  I just pretend to be gay to fit in with the fashion industry.”

Shocked at such a bold admission, I sat silently, unsure of my next question.

“I’m tired of living a lie.  People expect fashion designers to be gay and act like drama queens and watch Sex and the City reruns, but I’m straight.”  Tears began streaming down his face, and he looked as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  “My real name is Billy Joe McOnetooth, and I’m first cousins with Cletus.  That’s why I came to you.  I want people to know that fashion designers and choreographers and professional soccer players don’t have to be gay.  Straight men can perform in these jobs just as well as gay men.  In fact, some of the best in each profession are secretly heterosexual.”

Shocked and dismayed by this outlandish claim, I asked him to give specific examples, but he politely refused, except for Richard Simmons.  He was adamant that Simmons is secretly a heterosexual man with a fetish for Japanese women.  We concluded our interview, and I set out for Ellis Chapel, Arkansas to meet with Cletus and discuss his cousin’s situation.

“You mean to tell me that Billy Joe ain’t a queer folk?” Cletus said, scratching his head.

I explained as well as I could that it was all an act to fit in at soirees and on TV.

“Well, what about the time me and him was down by the creek experimenting with our sexuality?  Don’t that count for queeredness?”

“I was never down by any creek with my cousin, Cletus,”  Hal responded via voicemail.  “He’s mixed me up with someone else.”

“That weren’t Billy Joe I was having anal sex with?  Well, then, who the hell was it?” Cletus asked, a fearful expression on his brow.  “I mean having sex with your gay cousin is one thing, but a stranger?  Folks around here don’t cotton with that.  Looky here, I gotta get down to the Tea Party meeting.  We gotta help them big corporations get back to wiping out the middle class so that my children and grand-children can be safe from them socialists.  I don’t have time to sit around here talking about them queer folks.”

With that, Cletus ran out of the room, leaving me to ponder whether or not Richard Simmons really leads a double life.

This blog is dedicated to the GOP, the TEA Party, and other homophobes everywhere.