Tag Archives: creativity

General Posts

Thursday Morning Ramblings

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I’ve reached the point in my teaching career where I feel like I’m wasting my life.   The skills I teach, writing, critical thinking, and to a lesser extent reading, seem life relics of a bygone era, and every semester, not only are the students less prepared coming into class, they also tend to act more resistant to learning even the basics.  Sure, there are the occasional gems and the dedicated adults, but their numbers dwindle with each year.  Now, after 14 years in the classroom, I truly feel burnt out, used up, frustrated, and ready for a substantive change.

Those who have followed me for a while have heard me gripe about these feelings before, but now, I can’t stress loudly enough that I really, really, really need out.  I feel like I’m suffocating from the demands of the job, and with each passing hour of class prep and grading, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve lost yet another hour that could’ve been spent doing something more productive and more fulfilling for me.  Right now, I’m honestly only here for the paycheck, and considering how paltry the money is in comparison to the effort required, that’s simply not adequate motivation to continue.

The downside is that I know I’m stuck for at least another year and a half because I’m too close to having my retirement vested to walk away today, and while that amount of money may not be enormous, it is enough that I would be stupid not to tough it out for at least 18 more months.  But with every single day and every single essay graded, I feel a little piece of myself die and know  the time wasted on most of the papers is that much less time left in my life to write my own works.  I know there are some of you who feel trapped in your jobs and can relate to what I’m expressing.

The good part is now that my health is coming back, my focus is returning to the farm.  Without that prospect of hope, I’m not certain I could make it, but having the opportunity to get it going provides me with at least the sense of an escape route.  Over the next few months, I’m going to throw myself back into that project and make as much progress as I can.  With a little luck and a lot of hard work, hopefully it will become productive enough that two years from now I can walk away from education permanently.  One of the only things I know for certain is that I don’t have much more than that left in me.

General Posts

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

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There’s one annoying aspect of my neurological symptoms that’s still lingering.  When typing, I have difficulty timing how long I hold down the shift key to capitalize certain letters.  Slowly, it’s getting better, but with as much as I type, it’s fairly annoying.  The letter “T” seems to be the worst.  I have to retype it several times to get it capitalized.  I never really noticed just how often I begin sentences with a word that begins with this letter until I started having the issue.  Now, I’m more aware of just how often it occurs from the sheer volume of retypes I have to make.

Another lingering issue is getting my fingers to land with precision.  Before the illness, I was a fairly proficient, self-taught typist who could average about 60 wpm.  Now, I often miss the key I want.  I’ll think “E” but my finger strikes “F” for no apparent reason, and some letters I have a hard time pressing fully, mostly “A” and “O ” it seems.  Again, it’s getting better, and typing today is much easier than just three months ago, but it’s still frustrating to be slowed by something I can’t really control.  Hopefully, as I continue to heal, these issues will eventually fade away entirely, but there’s always the possibility that I’ll have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

In the grand scheme, it’s a minor nuisance, but for a writer, it’s pretty frustrating.  I’ve always prided myself on my command of the language and efficiency with getting my thoughts down on the page, whether typing or handwriting.  Now, I’m having to adjust and reread everything more closely to make sure I didn’t type the wrong letter or reorganize letters or completely miss one.  One positive from this adjustment is that I am paying a lot more attention to what I write as I write it, so I guess I should focus on the positive and not just accept the inconvenience as my current reality.

So if you’re reading an entry one day and see something I’ve completely mangled, please don’t judge me too harshly.  I really do know the language fairly well; it’s just that my fingers and brain aren’t completely back in sync yet.  As I’ve been typing this entry right now, I’ve had to make at least a hundred typo corrections along the way, and this one is less than five hundred words long.  That’s how frequently I’m still missing keys.  However, compared to just three months ago, that’s a big improvement.  Then, it seemed like I had to correct every single word as I typed.  At my worst, I was down to about 20 wpm.  Now, I’m back up close to 40, so I’ll accept that progress and hope that the healing continues.

General Posts

Sunday Afternoon Ramblings

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It’s been an exciting couple of months on the writing front.  Ever since the relaunch of the series by Seventh Star Press, there has been a palpable upswing of momentum, and for the first time in a long time, I feel as if all of the hard work has been worth it.  From two strong convention showings to some solid reviews, the series finally seems to be garnering a little respect.  I’ve always believed in the quality of the work, but there’s no substitute for hearing positive feedback from others, especially people who read vast quantities of books.  As if all of that weren’t enough, this blog has seen a huge increase in readership and interaction.  I’ve grateful to all of you who stop by to read my Ramblings.

Here are links to two recent interviews, one with Daniel Cann and the other with Sean Taylor:

http://www.danielcann.com/index.php/blog/q-and-a-with-d.-a.-adams#.T29SsGE7X4u

http://seanhtaylor.blogspot.com/2012/03/d-adams-and-lot-more-than-seven-dwarves.html

And here are links to reviews of the first three books by Daniel Cann:

http://www.danielcann.com/index.php/books/the-brotherhood-of-dwarves#.T29TG2E7X4s

http://www.danielcann.com/index.php/books/red-sky-at-dawn#.T29TE2E7X4s

http://www.danielcann.com/index.php/books/the-fall-of-dorkhun#.T29Su2E7X4u

Thank you to everyone for all of the support and encouragement.  Whether you’ve been with me for years or just a couple of weeks, I appreciate your time, feedback, interaction, and friendship.  Without you, I couldn’t continue to share my writings, and I’m grateful for all that you give to me.