Tag Archives: anxiety

Monday Afternoon Ramblings – 8/12/19

I’m happy.

No qualifiers, no hyperbole, no BS. I’m happy.

I can’t explain exactly why. My life is far from perfect, and by many objective standards, my career has been a failure. I don’t have many creature comforts, and I basically live day to day financially. However, when I wake up each day, I’m grateful for the food in my fridge, the roof over my head, the opportunities in front of me, and the people who are close.

Many of my clients have plenty of money, but I wouldn’t classify any of them as happy people. Some are too petty to find joy in anything. Some are too selfish to appreciate the warmth that comes from sharing with those less fortunate. Some are just miserable individuals. I wouldn’t trade lives with any of them.

I know that a major contributor to my happiness is the gratitude I feel for the positives I do enjoy. If you are not happy and want to change your life, that’s the first and most important step you can make. Find the good aspects of your daily life and take a moment to feel real, sincere gratitude for those items or moments or people. That simple act transforms your perception. Instead of dwelling on all the things you don’t have, which is an infinite loop of dissatisfaction, you will begin to appreciate the little stuff that enriches you.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Happiness is choice. So is misery. You are in control of which way you perceive the world.

That’s all for now.

Wednesday Afternoon Ramblings – 6/19/2019

One of the most important lessons I have learned in life is to stop worrying about the things I cannot control. I have zero influence over politics, so I no longer give politics my energy. That change alone has made me so much happier and healthier than I was back when I was plugged into the “daily outrage machine.”

I have no control over other people’s actions. The only thing I can effect is my reaction to their actions. After losing so many friends and family members, I had to teach myself to let go and move on. I simply cannot dwell on what others think of me, no matter how close we may have been. There are people I miss, of course, and from time to time I reminisce about our friendships, but overall, those people are quite simply dead to me and are not welcome in my present reality.

I cannot control overall market forces. I can, however, pay attention to and anticipate how those forces will affect my life. In terms of risk management, I try not to put myself into volatile situations. From being at the very bottom, I learned that there are always jobs out there that people don’t want to do for whatever reason (hard labor, dirt, danger), but they will pay someone else to take care of it. In that regard, the market for my services is relatively stable, as long as I’m willing to and capable of handling it.

I can’t control what memories or emotions bubble up on a daily basis. I can control my reaction to them. If anger comes up, I let it pass and move on. I can’t let anger consume me. If I have a twinge of self-pity, I push it aside as quickly as possible. That won’t help anything. Every single day, I make a concerted effort to focus on the blessings and positives in my life, and that focus has done more to heal me than anything else.

That’s all for now.

Friday Morning Ramblings – 2/3/17

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Another fan has asked me what are the biggest obstacles to writing that I deal with on a regular basis. If you struggle with writing regularly, hope you find this post helpful:

5) The Day Job – If you’re like the vast majority of writers, you have to work at an outside job to pay your bills.If you’re like most Americans, you need two. I’m no exception, and the grind of juggling outside employment and making time to write can take its toll. Back when I still worked in education, I usually had to do the majority of my writing during the summer months. Now, I work at two different jobs, one outside the house and one from home, and some days I struggle to find the energy to write. However, I also know that in order to accomplish my goals, some sacrifices have to be made. More often than not, when I feel too tired to write, I force myself to sit down and write at least a couple of pages. Any progress is positive. You don’t have to write thousands of words every single day in order to complete a manuscript; you just need to make steady progress on a consistent basis.

4) Time Bandits – The distractions of TV and video games can eat up a lot of time if you allow them. Some days, when my energy levels are low, I find myself longing for the simplicity of vegging out in front of the tube or a game. I love movies, so there are times when this temptation can be great. But again, I have a writing schedule, and I intend to stick to it. I have to make a conscious decision to turn off the time bandits and focus on the work I have to accomplish.

3) Fear/Anxiety – “Fear is the mind killer” as Frank Herbert warned. Whether it be fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, or fear of fear, many of us have to face these fears on a regular basis. If you have ever dealt with regular anxiety, you already know how debilitating it can be. For creative people, anxiety can obliterate ambition because the fears can overwhelm our creative drive. For me, anxiety is a relatively new development, so I’m still learning how to deal with it in my daily life. However, in terms of writing, my answer may seem rather trite, but I tend to ignore it and press on. As a writer, I simply cannot allow fear to clog my creative process. No matter how bad the anxiety may flare up, I force myself to sit down and hit my page goal. The way I convince myself to overcome the fears is by reminding myself that no matter what, if there are words on the page, I can polish them later.

2) Brain Fog – For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from a neurological disorder (most likely MS, though I don’t have a confirmed diagnosis). One of the worst symptoms is the brain fog it causes. Unlike the previous entries, this one simply can’t be pushed through. When the brain fog is bad, my thoughts become too disconnected to concentrate on composition. It might take two hours to write a hundred words, and there’s simply no way to write effective fiction like that. My only course of action is to wait until the brain fog passes and write while I can.

1) Depression – The worst obstacle I face, not just in writing but also in life, is depression. Ever since my head injury when I was 16, I’ve struggled with depressive episodes. Most of the time, they are mild and I can get through them with a little effort and some sunshine. However, sometimes, I slip into deeper episodes that can be completely debilitating. These times are the biggest obstacles to writing because, as anyone who has experienced real depression can attest, it robs the individual of all motivation and drive. The only way I can get through these episodes is with medication, and I urge anyone who struggles with it not to suffer needlessly. Depression is a serious illness, but it can be controlled with medicine.

So those are my five biggest obstacles to writing. Despite dealing with them, I’ve managed to write the longest book of my career in about six months, and if I can do it, anyone can. You just have to make a conscious decision to fight through whatever difficulties life puts in your way.