So I’m sitting here contemplating my past and the mistakes I’ve made, especially for the last year, and I realize that I truly am my own worst enemy. One of my best and worst characteristics is that I look for the best in people. I see potential. It’s probably part of being a teacher, but I often see what people can become if given the right environment and the right encouragement. That’s sounds noble and idealistic, but it often hinders me from seeing the reality of what a person really is.
It’s the reason I remain in terrible, unfulfilling relationships. I see the potential of what could be if we just work on things a little more, and I usually ignore the reality that this person and this relationship are not working as they should. Instead of seeing the shortcomings and flaws, I see the potential and the good. It may sound like a good thing, but after this last year, I see that it is a real problem for me.
This is part of the reason I think I’m just not built for a real long-term relationship. My judgment gets clouded, and I get too focused on the potential and not on the reality. I really believe that I’m better off developing good friendships and staying out of anything serious.