Tag Archives: spirituality

General Posts

Thursday Afternoon Ramblings

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I’m at and have been facing a crossroads in my life.  I feel it every waking moment of each day.  On the one side, I am a capable teacher with 13 years experience and a solid foundation for how to run my courses, so the job is not difficult in the sense of day-to-day class preparation.  But with that experience comes a feeling of burnout, of having been overworked and exhausted by the system well before my prime.  While I’m good at the job, it no longer fulfills me in any substantial way.

Then, there is the writer in me who feels stifled by the day-in, day-out grind of the system.  My creative side yearns to run free and create novels full-time, but the reality of our current economic conditions makes that aspiration feel like a distant dream unlikely ever to come to fruition.  Breaking through in this age, just being noticed, requires constant promotion and exposure.  Even then, the monetary reward is rarely worth the effort.  It’s a sickening, maddening feeling to have a modicum of talent for something but to feel as if there is no way to make a living off of that skill.

And then still, there is my third path, the one I feel calling with the most urgency and highest sense of importance.  I want to farm.  I want to build a self-sufficient, operational farm that at the very least can provide my family with sustenance if the whole system implodes, which every day feels more and more likely.  Right now, this is what I want to do more than anything.  This is where my heart is pushing me, and when I have the time to work at the property, even toiling at hard physical labor, I find a peace and tranquility hard to describe.  I simply feel as if I am where I belong.

I do know that no matter what, I will finish The Brotherhood of Dwarves series.  I owe it to my readers, my friends, and myself to complete books four and five.  Beyond that, who knows?  I may choose to continue writing, or I may not.  At this stage of my life, I truly cannot say.  There is another story I want to tell, but I’m not sure if it will ever be more than an idea.  Only time will tell about that.  What I do know for a fact is that I must choose a path and follow it because standing at this crossroads and pondering my proper course cannot last much longer.  I have to move forward soon.

General Posts

Monday Afternoon Ramblings

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New wall along far side.

My apologies for being away so long, but this summer proved to be a roller coaster to say the least.  I’ll spare the details, but just about everything that could go haywire did.

Today’s entry is a brief update on the farm.  Yes, I’m still working on it and moving forward, but there have been several setbacks along the way that have made it a much slower process than I had hoped.  Most importantly, it took a lot of work to fix the flooding issue along the back wall.  Even after I installed the drainage pipe, I had to by hand rework the ground slope along the length of building to make water flow to the drains.  That was one of the hardest, dirtiest, hottest jobs I’ve ever done and took many, many days to complete.  However, now, I’m fairly confident that the situation is under control.  There are only a couple of places inside the building that need to be sealed to prevent water from flowing through erosions in the mortar.

Another major issue that has taken much more time than originally anticipated has been repairing the outer wall.  After close inspection, I realized that virtually every board along the front and far side needed to be replaced, so I’ve had to strip the entire area and cut boards to replace what was water or pest damaged.  Fortunately, the treated wood of the foundation is in good shape, but it has still been an enormous job.

Also, after looking at the water issues along the far side wall, we decided to replace much of the old wooden wall with new cinder blocks.  I’m not a brick mason, and it has been 22 years since I last laid block, so that’s coming along slowly.  Tearing out the old wall took a little time, too, but I believe that once it’s complete, the new wall will be much better against the elements.

While I’m not where I wanted to be by this point, overall, I’m pleased with the progress.  The building isn’t too far away from being functional, and we should be able to begin production over the next few months.  Again, thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me along the way with this endeavor.  I appreciate you more than I can express.

General Posts

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

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Here are some thoughts on writing fiction.  These aren’t directed at any individual; they’re just my personal musings about the craft and profession.

First, I believe good writing is a craft that must be learned and cultivated over a lifetime.  Sure, there are distinctive personality traits that draw a person to the profession, but more important is the time and energy that person puts into honing their voice, playing with syntax, polishing dialogue, developing descriptions, bringing characters to life, and building tension.  These are the framework of a good story, and without them, a writer is much like a carpenter who can’t hammer straight or read a tape measure.

Also, there seem to be two major categories of writers: the artist and the mercenary.  I don’t mean the latter as a pejorative, simply an observation of fact.  Last weekend, I heard from several of my peers that they write whatever sells.  Please, don’t misunderstand.  I’m all for making money and don’t begrudge them pursuing it, but as an artist, I’m more interested in developing the story that’s authentic to me.  If the money never follows, so be it.  I write because I have to, not because of the potential for making money, and since I have to write, I choose to create what matters to me, not what happens to be hot at the moment.  If the day arrives when I write about sparkly, wimpy vampires other than as a satire, that’s the day I’ve crossed over from artist to mercenary.  Of course, by that point, the new hot thing will be transgender zombies with a penchant for needlepoint, or something equally absurd.

Finally for this entry, I think the artistic writer needs to be subversive to a degree.  The current trend in society is a degradation of manners, etiquette, and general decency.  As an artist, I reject that trend, and my act of subversion is to carry myself as a professional, treating others with respect and dignity, unless they happen to piss me off.  Then, it’s both barrels.  But in general, I make a conscious decision to be polite and not give in to the decline of civilized behavior.  I refuse to play the “I’m cool” game that pervades the music industry and Hollywood because that’s not my nature and not my character.  I also refuse to follow the crowd.  I’m an independent, free-thinking person who conducts himself, most of the time, as respectful and courteous, and I tip my hat to my fellow writers, both mercenary and artist, who do likewise.

Those are my thoughts for now.  I hope to write more about the craft of writing soon.

http://www.brotherhoodofdwarves.com/