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Please Forward to All Faculty Effective Immediately:

Due to increased the standards of the All Children Left Behind and Race to a Stop Acts, the Bureau of Educational Bureaucracy has implemented the following guidelines for evaluating student performance.  All faculty members must adhere to these guidelines without question in order to improve our educational rankings among developed nations.

Section 1 – Does the student attend class regularly and refrain from disruptive behavior?  If yes, refer to Article 1-.01A.  If no, refer to Section 2.

Section 2 – Does the student attend class semi-regularly and refrain from drooling while asleep and/or defecating themselves during class time?  If yes, refer to Article 2-.02A.  If no, refer to Section 3.

Section 3 – Does the defecation have a foul odor?  If yes, refer to Article 3-.o3A.  If no, refer to Section 4.

Section 4 – Is the student armed? If yes, refer to Section 5.  If no, refer to Section 6.

Section 5 – Is the student a proficient marksman?  If yes, refer to Article 2-.o2A.  If no, refer to Article 3-.o3A.

Section 6 – Has the instructor made every attempt to meet the emotional needs of the student?  If yes, refer to Section 7.  If no, refer to Article 2-.o2A.

Section 7 – Has the instructor simplified the material adequately to engage students on their level of proficiency?  If yes, refer to Article 3-.o3A.  If no, refer to Section 8.

Section 8 – Has the instructor attempted doing the work for the students?  If yes, refer to Article 3-.o3A.  If no, please report to the Bureau of Educational Bureaucracy for immediate reassignment.

Article 1-.01A – Pass them with an A.

Article 2-.o2A – Pass them with an A.

Article 3-.o3A – Convince them to withdraw from the institution so their numbers don’t count against us.

Remember, student performance is a direct reflection on your ability to teach.  Following these guidelines will make you a more efficient teacher and improve the long-term sustainability of our workforce development.

General Posts

Friday Morning Ramblings

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Today, I’ll start numbering and signing the limited edition copies of The Fall of Dorkhun.  It’s a tedious process, but one that I enjoy.  I’ve never had a hardcover version of my books before, and holding them feels a little surreal.  It’s similar to watching my kids grow.  In the beginning, they were these small, fragile things, completely dependent on me for life, but as they’ve grown, they’ve become something more.  It’s hard to put into words.

Recently, I’ve offered to send a couple of the remaining versions of the first edition of TBOD to two friends who’ve been very supportive of me over the last year, so I got out the copies and looked at them.  It’s a wonder I sold a single one.  They were so shoddily put together by the printer, and the art was so simplistic.  I’m sure one day that original cover will make someone’s “Worst Book Covers of All-Time” wall of shame, but even so, holding those versions is still like holding one of my sons.  I had so few resources to work with but wanted so badly for the book to see the light of day that even though the binding is bad (literally, pages just fall out, not one or two either.  Dozens at a time.), the art looks like a doodle (As one person told me.), and the layout is obviously amateurish (I had no idea how to design a book cover.), I still love them.  And there are probably fewer than a hundred of those versions still in existence because they were so fragile.

I realize I’m waxing nostalgic and am being a sentimental fool, but I’m proud of the first printing of the first edition.  I had the balls to step into the arena and compete, the fortitude to weather the criticism and ridicule, and the persistence to keep fighting and keep writing.  Not many can say that.  I took a lot of criticism and heard a lot of teasing, and while it hurt, it also strengthened my resolve.  Today, each of my books has a gorgeous new cover designed by Bonnie Wasson (the first two should be revealed soon), and I have an excellent support system with SSP.  All of the jokes and nasty comments have been worth it because I achieved the goal of that original first printing: to garner enough attention to attract a reputable publisher.

But it all started with an “ugly” book with shoddy binding, and I hope to never forget those roots.

 http://seventhstarpress.com/documents/books.html

General Posts

Thursday Morning Ramblings

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Today’s blog is about respect and common courtesy.  In the words of Vince Lombardi, “What the hell is going on out there?”  Is it just me or does it seem like simple, basic rules of etiquette are relics of the past?  Yesterday, I was treated in the most disrespectful, condescending manner of my life, and while I somehow managed to maintain my composure and not blow up in response, I was so angry after we hung up the phone that it took me a good ten minutes to compose myself enough to enter the classroom.  I was so angry I was literally crying, that kind of angry.

It’s one thing to have a difference of opinion or to have to tell someone something disappointing.  Hell, I have to do it every semester in school with failing students, but there is no excuse for being condescending and pompous in the process.  There’s no reason for arrogance and dismissiveness.   Tone of voice and word choice are important, and in professional arenas, it’s not unreasonable to expect a person to behave as a professional.  Part of professionalism is showing respect to customers and clients, no matter the circumstances.  Respect doesn’t mean ass-kissing.  It means showing consideration for and recognizing the other person’s rights as an individual.

I wrote the other day about Coach Brumley Greene humiliating me during a scrimmage, but I can also tell you that off the field that man has always treated me with utmost respect.  There’s a clear difference between a coach trying to motivate a player and a customer service provider showing contempt for a customer.  Have we just lost this concept in our society?  Am I a dinosaur who needs to adapt to the new norms of our culture?  I don’t know anymore, but what I do know is that what happened to me yesterday is not an isolated incident, and I’m not the only one who has noticed an erosion of etiquette in our society.

Please, share your own experiences or opinions on this subject.  I’m curious to know what you think.