Tag Archives: Politics

Tea Party Ramblings

Following the lead of Utah in adopting the Browning Revolver as the official state gun, the state of Mississippi is moving to adopt a new symbol of its own.  While the majestic magnolia blossom is the official state flower, leaders in this proud and diverse state believe they need a new symbol to more accurately portray the state’s vision for the future.

“The time is right,” says Konrad K. Kristian, business leader and Tea Party activist.  “We Mississippians need to embrace our heritage and return this state to its once proud stature in this union, and we in the Tea Party believe that this symbol send the proper message.”

Curious to learn more, I pressed Mr. Kristian for more details surrounding the as-of-yet unveiled icon.

“Well, you don’t seem like one of them socialist members of the Jew-run liberal media, and you are blond haired and blue eyed, so I reckon I can trust you with this information.”

He reached underneath the counter and produced a picture frame covered by a velvet cloth.  Slowly, like a highly skilled exotic dancer, he pulled the velvet away from the picture.  Having covered world events as dangerous and threatening to world peace as the Grenada invasion, I thought I was emotionally prepared for anything, but even my hardened journalist’s sensibilities were shocked by the icon: On a dark background for contrast was a picture of a tightly drawn noose swinging from a tree branch.

“Ain’t it beauteeful?” Konrad asked, his eyes welling with tears.

“Um, do you think it might offend the African-Americans of this state?” I asked.

“Well, it might offend the sensitive ones, but in our new vision for America, them sensitive liberal types don’t have much say so anyway.”

Shocked and dismayed by what I had seen, I politely excused myself and rushed to Washington to speak with Rob R. Barron VI and Billy Joe Oilmoney, the two most prominent Tea Party members in the Senate.  After I had described the icon to them, both men stared at me blankly.

“Aren’t you offended?” I asked.

“Why would we be offended?” Oilmoney responded, his voice rising an octave.  “The folks of Mississippi have a right to embrace their heritage.”

“You don’t find this racist?”

“I knew you liberals would find a way to twist this around to racism,” exclaimed Barron.  “We in the Tea Party don’t hate minorities.  We’re not against minorities.  As a matter of fact, some of my favorite athletes and entertainers are black, and all of my servants are Hispanic, so I don’t know where you could get the idea that I’m racist.”

“Look,” interjected Oilmoney.  “That noose is just a symbol of the strength and vitality of the people in charge in Mississippi, and nooses don’t kill people.  Depending on the knot, it’s either a snapped neck or lack of oxygen that kills people.  A noose in the hands of law abiding citizens is harmless, so don’t go trying to demonize a piece of rope.”

www.daadams.com

To Governor Haslam on Education

Dear Governor Haslam:

I’m quite certain you personally will never read this letter, but since you have taken over the helm of this great state, I feel compelled to write you anyway.  Please, allow me to be clear–this is not a partisan attack on your principles or values, and this is not meant to be a politically charged diatribe, either.  Instead, this letter is merely meant to illustrate the state of the state, so to speak, in terms of our educational system.

Please, also allow me to be clear that I love this state, especially East Tennessee.  This is my home, and when I finished graduate school, I chose to move back to this area to be a part of this community.  There were other opportunities in other regions open to me, but I chose to utilize my skills for the people of East Tennessee.  I am a professional educator, having taught for 13 years at the collegiate level, and I wanted to teach here because I felt it was my duty.  However, at this point in my career and in my life, I cannot see a rational argument for continuing in this profession in this area much longer.  My reasons for feeling like this profession is a dead-end emanate from the absurdly low monetary compensation we receive and the deplorable working conditions under which we are required to function.

On the monetary level, for 13 years my salary has remained basically stagnant and is lower than the salaries of most fast-food managers.  During this same time, my rent, electric bill, groceries, and fuel costs have all risen by at least 30%.  Real-world, real-life inflation has consumed every penny and then some of disposable income I once had.  Additionally, I’m saddled with $60,000 worth of student loan debt that I feel will never get paid off because I simply don’t earn enough money to afford the monthly payments.  In order to hold this position, I must have at least as much education as an accountant, an engineer, or an architect, and in obtaining that education I accrued as much debt, but the opportunity to pay off that debt is not equitable.  To me, this is an unsustainable system, and at times, I feel like a liar and a hypocrite for telling students that education matters.  I hold bachelor’s and master’s degrees, yet my education has done little to improve my economic conditions.

In terms of our working conditions, I am deeply frustrated by the quality of students we receive at the college.  Since the inception of the Hope Scholarship, we have been overwhelmed by a throng of kids who are not prepared for college.  These students have swelled our class sizes to nearly double the optimal student-teacher ratio.  There is substantial data to support the claim that this ratio is one of the biggest factors in educational quality.  When classes are overcrowded, the ones who suffer the most are the serious, sincere students who truly want an education to better their lives.  We get so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of students that we become incapable of providing them with the time and attention they deserve.

Those of us who are serious, committed professionals are frustrated by all the hindrances to serving our students.  There have been times in my career when I have gotten to teach courses with an optimal ratio for writing classes of 15:1, and in those courses, I was able to provide my students with detailed one-on-one instruction to work specifically on their personal writing issues.  This mode of instruction is much more effective and much more fulfilling.  Once the ratio gets above 20:1 for a writing course, most instruction becomes generic and abstract, and the instructor is limited in how much he or she can learn about each individual student.  In my experience, most of us truly care about delivering a positive experience to our students, and most of us want to contribute to society by improving the lives of those students, both traditional and non-traditional.  However, when our classes are overrun with people who neither want to be there nor are prepared academically, our jobs become impossibly frustrating.

Also, the sheer volume of hours we put in is part of the difficult working conditions.  During each semester, I have no time for anything other than my job.  On good weeks, I put in 60 hours and work 6 days.  On bad weeks, those numbers can reach 80 hours and 7 days.  Rarely, extremely rarely, do I work less than 60 hours.  As a divorced man who lives 500 miles from his children, I cannot make trips to spend time with my children throughout the semester because I cannot spare the weekend from grading.   I cannot be the father my children deserve because of the demands of this job.  Among ourselves, many of us grumble about not having time for anything or anyone other than our jobs.  If the monetary compensation mirrored the workload, we might see the sacrifices as worthwhile, but since our salaries hover just above the poverty line, it’s difficult to find justification for losing months on end from our families.

This human toll of teaching is by far the worst aspect.  I didn’t enter the profession with delusions of becoming wealthy.  I knew my salary would be lower than many other professions.  I chose to teach because I wanted to give something back to my community.  Now, 13 years later, that feels like a terrible mistake.  If I had known that I would have to make so many sacrifices for this job, I would’ve done something else for a living, and my fear is that over time, fewer and fewer serious-minded, dedicated professionals will gravitate to this career because of the overwhelming demands placed on us with too little in return.  As I speculate on the future, I imagine an educational landscape dominated by semi-skilled, quasi-professional people who work the job much like most fast-food employees work theirs, with no sense of quality or duty.

There was a time when I loved my profession.  I woke up every day excited to go to work, and I felt as if my contribution to society was meaningful, important, and crucial.  Now, I feel as if I have wasted my life.  Education has become so devalued that most of my students view it as an obstacle to their careers, instead of a bridge.  Perhaps education is not important.  Perhaps our state can move into the economy of the future without a literate workforce.  Perhaps it was merely naive and idealistic of me to believe that giving back to the community was a sincere contribution.  All I know for certain is that under the current circumstances, I do not have many more semesters in me.  I am completely and utterly exhausted.

If the state is serious about improving the educational system in Tennessee, it needs to find a way to bring salaries up to levels that are equitable to other skilled professions.  Money from the Hope Scholarship program needs to be redirected into K-12 to prepare students better academically.  Until that foundation is fixed, the money is mostly being wasted.  And the demands placed on those of us in the classroom need to be lessened.   As the system stands, dedicated teachers are being used up way too early in their careers, and if this continues, the quality of instructor in the classroom will only continue to erode.

Thank you for your time and contemplation on this matter.  My hope is that the system will be improved, not by adding more layers of bureaucratic oversight and more hours of unproductive paperwork but by fixing the core issues of inequitable pay and substandard working conditions.

Sincerely,

D. A. Adams

Political Ramblings

Breaking News: Americans Demand Dumber Political Candidates

In a stunning development, American citizens are protesting in the streets, demanding that political parties offer less intelligent, less educated candidates in the 2012 elections.

“It’s simple,” said Joe Workman, organizer and activist for the movement known as STUPID (STart Using Politicians that Is Dumb).  “Our school system is ranked 14th among developed nations and keeps declining, but our leadership still ranks 9th in terms of intelligence and education.  Clearly, our elected officials don’t match the electorate.  We must have dumber, less informed politicians.”

Amazingly, in a showing of bipartisan cooperation, the demands are coming from both Democrat and Republican voters, and protests are being held not only in all major urban districts but also in small towns and rural communities.

“We is tired of them fancy Ivy League pollyticians,” said Cletus McOnetooth, president of the Arkansas Chapter of STUPID.  “Give me simple folk in charge of nuclear war and global economics.”

Predictably, there is also resistance to the movement, especially from highly educated citizens such as Dr. Lottastatz of the Center for Researching Research.

“If our politicians get any less intelligent and less educated, there’s a 99.9% chance that we’ll have a 100% decline in economic productivity,” claims Dr. Lottastatz.  “The research is very clear.”

“That’s simply not true,” counters Dr. Fullofshitz of Fox News.  “Those evil socialist commies want intelligent leaders who can trick the American people into believing that reforming corruption is in their best interests.  His scientific research is biased and tainted by his liberal agenda.”

Intrigued by the healthy debate, I rushed to South Carolina to sit down with my old friend Joseph Cartwright III, conservative talk radio host and blogger, and leader of the Tea Party in the Palmetto Bug State.

“The Democrats have been electing stupid people for years.  Look at Hank Johnson and his capsizing island inquiry.  He matches the average American for lack of intelligence. Not to mention Gray Davis.  He was really the trendsetter in this dumbing down movement.

“But the Democrats have nothing on us.  We in the Tea Party have been doing our part to help this trend for a couple of years, now.  I mean, look at Sarah Palin.  You have to admit, you can’t get much dumber and less informed than her.

“And Sue Lowden.  She’s so uneducated she suggested trading chickens for healthcare.  If that’s not dumb enough for the American public, what is?

“And of course, our coup-de-gras, Christine O’Donnell.  You find me a politician with less intelligence than that woman, and I’ll show you someone in a vegetative state.”