Tag Archives: family

Inspirational

Saturday Morning Ramblings

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Swing

Some highlights from the trip with the boys:

While I was applying anti-itch to his bug bite, Collin was reading the warning label on the box and asked, “Dad, do I have vaginal itch?”

Finn somehow got the notion to create a pee bottle, for convenience I guess.  For two days, he and Collin peed in an old cleaner bottle.  Luckily no spillage occurred.

Listening to Finn sing a nearly perfect rendition of Honky Tonk Heroes.

Body slams and power slams.

Two rafting trips.

Tubing with Heath.

Pool time with my best friend, Dagan, followed by Collin’s first tennis lessons.  He picked it up fairly well and fairly quickly.

On the ride home, singing with the boys each Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings song that came on Outlaw Country.  I’ve done something right since they knew every word of every one.

And though nothing can top vaginal itch, Collin asked me where babies come from.  I wasn’t prepared.

boys

Raftingpark 2013

General Posts

Saturday Evening Ramblings

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My apologies for the extended hiatus, but the last couple of months have been quite the adventure. Due to circumstances, in mid-May I found myself suddenly single and without a place to live. The plan for this summer had been to renovate the old building into a living space and move to the farm permanently, but that plan got moved to the front burner instantly. For about seven weeks, I slept in my old Blazer out on the property and worked ten to twelve hours every day on the construction.

I started basically with a skeleton: a tin roof, rafters, a block wall along the back, a concrete floor, and part of a frame. I finished out the framing, fixed the outer walls, added onto the block wall, plumbed it, wired it, hung drywall, hung the ceiling, installed windows and doors, and sealed the place. Dad showed me how to do the things I had never done before, and two guys helped me hang the boards for the ceiling, but the bulk of the labor was me and me alone.

It’s not perfect and far from finished, but it’s mine. I built this place with my own two hands. The satisfaction of that is priceless. Pushing through weeks of fatigue and discomfort helped me rediscover a part of myself I thought was gone. There is still a little fight left in these old bones.

Twice now since my divorce, I’ve given up a comfortable place of my own to move in with women who begged me, literally begged, to move in with them, only to later be accused of using them. Well, the people who really know me know I’m not a user. I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself, thank you. So there will never be a third instance of me giving up my own place to live under someone else’s roof. End of that discussion.

My children love my new place. I truly don’t care what anyone else thinks. You don’t like it, there’s the door. You want to criticize it, go build something better in seven weeks or shut your mouth. As for me, I’m D.A. Adams, and I’ve just begun kicking ass.

General Posts

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

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Today, my youngest son turns six.  In some ways, those six years seem like a fraction of a second.  In others, they could be from a different lifetime.  Finn is an incredible child — scary bright, perceptive, strong as an ox, sweet, mischievous, and shy.  I call him my clone because he looks so much like me, especially when I was that age.  Sometimes, when I look at him, it’s like looking in the mirror 34 years ago.  He also acts a lot like me, stubborn, headstrong, and independent.  Whenever I allow myself to think about how he’ll be in 10 years, I honestly get a little scared because I’m certain he’ll be as curious about the world as I was.

Every father should have a son who looks at him the way Finn looks at me.  It’s pure, unconditional adoration, and it melts me every single time.  Collin loves me, but whenever he looks at me, there’s an element of hurt and anger in his eyes because of the scars left by the divorce.  Finn was too little to remember much from that time, so he doesn’t carry the same wounds. All he knows of me is the man who calls several nights a week, the guy who gets them a couple of times a year and showers them with attention, and the daddy who sings him to sleep every night he’s with me.  I know the day will come when he no longer looks at me like that and no longer wants me to sing; I’ve already gone through that with Collin.  Honestly, it will be a hard day, but for now, he enjoys being my youngest child and soaks up the attention.

Finn and I didn’t bond right away.  I was working two jobs and barely saw him for the first year of his life.  Back then, because Collin and I had bonded immediately, I felt tremendous guilt for not having that same connection with my baby boy.  Then, during one of first times they stayed with me just the three of us, it happened.  I had a porch swing and would rock him to sleep each night.  I felt the moment we bonded as clearly as I had with Collin.  We were on the swing, swaying back and forth, me singing about the tenth song to him as he fought sleep.  He buried his head into my chest and wrapped his arms around my neck and shoulder.  He pressed against me as hard as he could, and in that moment, we became father and son.

No amount of time is ever enough with my boys, and nothing will give us back what we’ve lost, but nothing will ever break the bonds we’ve formed, either.  Finn proves that to me every time he’s with me.  Despite having lived the majority of his life outside of my home and barely spending any time with me in person, he loves me deeply and knows I love him.  He’s an amazing child with unbelievable potential, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.  One day, he will accomplish great things.  I love you, my son.  Happy birthday.