This time last year, I was over halfway through my first Dragon*Con as a guest author.  It should’ve been a great event for me, but a selfish person decided to create drama and ruin it.  Still, I did perform fairly well on my panels, and I made a lot of good contacts.  The convention itself is something to behold — the costumes, the creativity, the passion.  The people who attend it are, for the most part, huge fans of science fiction and fantasy, and for many of them, Labor Day weekend has become a sacred time.

I’m proud that I was part of it.  For an unknown independent, being accepted was a major victory because I got in based solely on my talent and my efforts.  Not everyone can say that.  I also feel like I made a good showing of myself despite the unnecessary drama.  Still, I’m not sure how much of an impact the show has had on my writing career.  Not much is different from before and after.  I can’t point to a jump in sales and say that it was directly because of Dragon*Con, so I’m not sure if it was worth all the effort.

What a difference a year makes.  This year, obviously, I wasn’t invited back as a guest, and because of my health issues, even if I had been, I probably would’ve had to cancel.  Also, and more importantly, I’ve decided to stop chasing success as a writer.  I still plan to write and create good stories for the rest of my life, but I will no longer stress over and sacrifice for becoming successful as a novelist.  There are more important things in my life.

Which brings me to my last point for today’s rambling: Today is my youngest’s fourth birthday.  I simply can’t believe that he is four.  On one hand, it seems like he should still be a year old, reaching up and grabbing hold of my pants’ legs for me to pick him up after I got home from work.  On the other, it feels like much more time has passed over the last three years.  Some days, it feels like a whole lifetime has come and gone.  Dagan might understand what I mean about that combination of the blink of an eye and a snail’s pace.  It’s a strange juxtaposition of sensations, one that these words don’t do justice to.

Happy birthday Finn!  Daddy loves you very much, and I can’t wait to see you soon.