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Thursday Afternoon Ramblings

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I’m at and have been facing a crossroads in my life.  I feel it every waking moment of each day.  On the one side, I am a capable teacher with 13 years experience and a solid foundation for how to run my courses, so the job is not difficult in the sense of day-to-day class preparation.  But with that experience comes a feeling of burnout, of having been overworked and exhausted by the system well before my prime.  While I’m good at the job, it no longer fulfills me in any substantial way.

Then, there is the writer in me who feels stifled by the day-in, day-out grind of the system.  My creative side yearns to run free and create novels full-time, but the reality of our current economic conditions makes that aspiration feel like a distant dream unlikely ever to come to fruition.  Breaking through in this age, just being noticed, requires constant promotion and exposure.  Even then, the monetary reward is rarely worth the effort.  It’s a sickening, maddening feeling to have a modicum of talent for something but to feel as if there is no way to make a living off of that skill.

And then still, there is my third path, the one I feel calling with the most urgency and highest sense of importance.  I want to farm.  I want to build a self-sufficient, operational farm that at the very least can provide my family with sustenance if the whole system implodes, which every day feels more and more likely.  Right now, this is what I want to do more than anything.  This is where my heart is pushing me, and when I have the time to work at the property, even toiling at hard physical labor, I find a peace and tranquility hard to describe.  I simply feel as if I am where I belong.

I do know that no matter what, I will finish The Brotherhood of Dwarves series.  I owe it to my readers, my friends, and myself to complete books four and five.  Beyond that, who knows?  I may choose to continue writing, or I may not.  At this stage of my life, I truly cannot say.  There is another story I want to tell, but I’m not sure if it will ever be more than an idea.  Only time will tell about that.  What I do know for a fact is that I must choose a path and follow it because standing at this crossroads and pondering my proper course cannot last much longer.  I have to move forward soon.

General Posts

Wednesday Morning Ramblings

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Here are some thoughts on writing fiction.  These aren’t directed at any individual; they’re just my personal musings about the craft and profession.

First, I believe good writing is a craft that must be learned and cultivated over a lifetime.  Sure, there are distinctive personality traits that draw a person to the profession, but more important is the time and energy that person puts into honing their voice, playing with syntax, polishing dialogue, developing descriptions, bringing characters to life, and building tension.  These are the framework of a good story, and without them, a writer is much like a carpenter who can’t hammer straight or read a tape measure.

Also, there seem to be two major categories of writers: the artist and the mercenary.  I don’t mean the latter as a pejorative, simply an observation of fact.  Last weekend, I heard from several of my peers that they write whatever sells.  Please, don’t misunderstand.  I’m all for making money and don’t begrudge them pursuing it, but as an artist, I’m more interested in developing the story that’s authentic to me.  If the money never follows, so be it.  I write because I have to, not because of the potential for making money, and since I have to write, I choose to create what matters to me, not what happens to be hot at the moment.  If the day arrives when I write about sparkly, wimpy vampires other than as a satire, that’s the day I’ve crossed over from artist to mercenary.  Of course, by that point, the new hot thing will be transgender zombies with a penchant for needlepoint, or something equally absurd.

Finally for this entry, I think the artistic writer needs to be subversive to a degree.  The current trend in society is a degradation of manners, etiquette, and general decency.  As an artist, I reject that trend, and my act of subversion is to carry myself as a professional, treating others with respect and dignity, unless they happen to piss me off.  Then, it’s both barrels.  But in general, I make a conscious decision to be polite and not give in to the decline of civilized behavior.  I refuse to play the “I’m cool” game that pervades the music industry and Hollywood because that’s not my nature and not my character.  I also refuse to follow the crowd.  I’m an independent, free-thinking person who conducts himself, most of the time, as respectful and courteous, and I tip my hat to my fellow writers, both mercenary and artist, who do likewise.

Those are my thoughts for now.  I hope to write more about the craft of writing soon.

http://www.brotherhoodofdwarves.com/

General Posts

Monday Morning Ramblings

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Well, that didn’t go as planned.

Let me preface everything I’m about to say with the fact that the Literary track was very well organized and most of my panels were excellent.  Stephen Zimmer did a great job with the hand he was dealt, even with more duties dumped in his lap than he had agreed to.  He was only supposed to be in charge of the literary side of things and ended up running the Dealers’ Room, the Gaming Room, Security, and the Literary Track.  If he had had time to plan for all of those responsibilities, everything would’ve been fine, but he didn’t find out until Thursday night.

The first negative thing that happened was Friday night at 10:00.  I went to look at the Dealers’ Room and found Stephen and a friend feverishly setting up chairs.  I noticed how frazzled they looked and offered to pitch in.  We spent the next hour carrying chairs to each table and getting the room ready.  When we finished, Stephen asked me if I would represent the Literary Track on a TV interview.  The catch was that it was at 5:15 Friday morning.  I went across the street to talk to one of the main organizers of the show, and she told me that no one else wanted to do it that early and that it would be recorded and replayed throughout the day, so I agreed.

The next morning, after about three hours of sleep, I staggered downstairs to find two other people there for the interview.  I ended up getting 15 seconds to promote the Literary Track.  When I went back upstairs to watch the replay, I found out that it had been a live feed and wasn’t replayed at all.  That was pretty disappointing, to say the least.

Around 1:00, we went to our table to begin selling books.  Anyone there can attest, it was pushing 100 degrees in the Dealers’ Room.  Now, Louisville was experiencing a heat wave, and no one can control the weather, but the hotel seemed unconcerned with the miserable conditions in the space.  In fact, they provided the worst convention support I’ve ever experienced.  They didn’t provide us with water and didn’t help with the heat issues.  I’ll never return to Fern Valley Hotel for any reason.  Needless to say, I didn’t sell a single book on Friday during SweatFest.

On Saturday, the convention organizers had brought in extra fans, so it was a little cooler.  Sales were modest on our side, but my biggest complaint with the show was that both of the big name guests, Henry Winkler and John Carpenter, were across the street in the other building.  I believe one should have been at each location to equalize foot traffic.  Instead, while 5,000 people filed through the other building and dealers’ room, our side got maybe 1,500.  And if one of the stars had been on our side, something more might have been done to fix the cooling issues.

On a positive note, the Literary Panels were excellent, for the most part.  Much thought and consideration went into the lineups, and most of my panels were well-attended.  We had some good discussions about the craft of writing, and I learned a lot from my fellow writers.

Overall, that’s not what I had envisioned for Third Axe’s swan song, but that’s life.  It’s now time to turn my attention to the future with Seventh Star Press.  Cover art for book three is underway, and it should be available soon.  Then, books one and two will be re-released with new covers as well.  It’s an exciting time, and I can’t wait to get back to work on book four.