Category Archives: Diatribes

I Will Refrain from Too Much Profanity

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I’ve held this in long enough, but today, I have to get it off my chest, and I’m voicing it publicly because I want the whole world to hear my side of the story.

You and your obese slob of a husband like to pretend that you hold the moral ground because you live in your little cul-de-sac, and you love to project that I am some kind of low-life deadbeat because of my financial struggles.  Well, let’s examine a few facts:

First, how about the years, yes years, the two of you sneaked around behind my back with your phone calls, emails, text messages, cards, and gifts.  You left behind quite the pile of evidence after you left.  Doesn’t your bible have something to say about coveting another man’s wife?  Or did my simple mind miss some clause exempting you two?  For years, you lied to me about your involvement with him, swearing he was just a friend, and me, in my sincerest naivety not wanting to be the kind of insecure man who refused his wife male friends, believed your lies.  Doesn’t your bible say something about uttering untruths?  Or again, did my simple mind miss something?  Perhaps, just perhaps, you two aren’t as moral as you like to pretend.  Knowing what I know now, if I were your husband today, I would keep a close eye on your online interactions and be quite wary of who you call a friend.

And how about the pretty little lies you told me at the beginning of our divorce?  Do you remember assuring me you would never ask for child support?  Do remember your smugness in saying that he had plenty of money and didn’t need any of mine?  Oh yes, you said that.  And from that lie, I agreed to certain provisions in the decree in exchange for your guarantee that I wouldn’t have to pay child support.  Of course, the moment the divorce was finalized, any chance of annulment or revision gone, you and fat boy went back on that guarantee.  And while I was at my lowest, most desperate moments, you slapped me with contempt of court papers.  At a time when I was living off peanut butter and little else, you and your slothful troll in your country club home hounded me for money.

You two love to paint me as some kind of scumbag because I struggle financially every month.  I would love to introduce you to a few mothers who deal with true deadbeat fathers to their children, men who not only don’t pay child support but have nothing to do with them.  You have been paid early every month for five consecutive years and are current for six years, and you cannot even begin to conceive the sacrifices I have to make in my daily life to ensure that money is paid.  You and the hefty gnome could not survive on what I have left over after paying for the children’s insurance and support, but I make do the best I can, so go fuck your self-righteous judgmental bullshit.  I have six years worth of phone records proving my involvement with my children, and they look forward to their time with me.  They know me, and I’m a permanent part of their lives.  If you attempt to restrict that time any more than it already is, we will pursue a new parenting plan that is far more equitable.

You love to throw out the time the boys got into poison ivy and the one time Collin picked up pink eye and whatever virus or bacteria that was, as if I intentionally made him sick.  How about all the times they’ve gotten sick with you?  Fat ass bringing home viruses from airplane flights, Collin missing 30+ days of school for strep, them coming up here this last trip so sick they could barely function.  I’ve never thrown that in your face because I understand that people get sick, especially kids and even more especially kids who aren’t exposed enough to the world at large.  The vast majority of the time the boys are with me they return to Florida safe, happy, and healthy, so how fucking dare you pretend like I don’t take excellent care of my children.

Now, you and that fat sack of cowardly shit hide behind a web of laws that cripple me at every turn.  Your lies and deceits pushed me into an imbalanced, unjust system that punishes fathers.  I’m sure in your diseased minds you believe your own self-righteous bullshit, but you cannot honestly say with a straight face that there is any justice or equality in what the two of you have done to me, leaving me to scratch out an existence on less than $400 a week.  But hear me and hear me well, your pathetic little apology was far too little far too late.  I had tried to let go of the hatred for you and that slothful, self-righteous sack of useless blubber, but this time was the final straw.  You provoked me.  Your greed and selfishness brought all my hatred and disdain for both of you back to the surface.  Now, you had best prepare for the gathering storm.

I Do Not Apologize

DSC_0968mcI’m a creative person — a free-spirited, independent-minded, compassionate man who has spent my entire adult life attempting to carve out an existence in a society that rewards the seven deadly sins and punishes virtue.  And I am fed up.

I do not apologize for rejecting corporate fascism.  On fundamental levels, I disagree with the stifling, homogenous, shallow materialism espoused by the corporate infrastructure.  I do not believe in the exploiting of cheap labor, the pillaging of natural resources, and the shirking of civic responsibility that too many companies embrace.  I do not agree with the rigging of markets, the undermining of democratic processes, and the eroding of personal liberties pushed by these monoliths.  I will not serve such a system and do not apologize for it.

I do not apologize for pursuing my creative ambitions.  I am a writer, a storyteller.  That’s who I am.  I will not tolerate any human being disparaging my efforts because I haven’t yet seen financial success from them.  If your life is so shallow that you can only measure a life’s quality in monetary terms, then I pity your profound lack of humanity.  I pity your misfortune at always having to chase more and more and more because that path has no bottom, no fulfillment, no nourishment, no sustainability.  The path to self-contentment lies not in how much shiny, useless stuff you can accumulate, but in what you do for others.  That wisdom was discovered long before me, and time and history have proven it right more than once.  I will remain true to myself, to whatever end, and I will not apologize for it.

I do not apologize for the way I work.  You will never see 99% of what I do because all of that takes place between my ears.  When I seem completely detached from the world, lost in a dream, distracted from the daily chores around me, that’s when I’m working my hardest because my mind is crafting something new.  I refuse to allow anyone to criticize my processes because the proof is in what I’ve created.  My reviews speak for themselves; my readers have reinforced my convictions.  Just because you cannot see the gears moving does not mean they are not in motion.  I work damned hard at what I do, and I do not apologize for how I do it.

I do not apologize for attempting to give back to my community.  Yes, at this point, I am frustrated beyond words with the educational system.  Yes, I am leaving the profession for good because I can no longer endure the encroaching corporate takeover.  But I do not apologize for sharing my knowledge with others, for attempting to improve and enrich other people’s lives, for living a life that has been dedicated to more than just my own selfish interests.  At the end of the day, I have helped fellow human beings achieve their goals, not lined the pockets of greedy billionaires, and I damn sure do not apologize for it.

I am fed up with people and a society so blinded by greed and selfishness that they are tearing down the greatest beacon of liberty ever to shine on this earth.  I am fed up with those who have more than they need looking down their noses and criticizing those of us who don’t, not because we don’t try but because our efforts are not duly rewarded.  I am fed up with self-righteous, elitist assholes with a staggering sense of entitlement believing as long as something is legal it is also moral.  You better believe, that house cards is about to come crashing down.  I am far from perfect, but I am a decent human being who works hard, sacrifices more than you will ever know for his children, and lives life on my own terms, and I do not apologize for any of it.

Sunday Evening Ramblings

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Here’s what I would teach your children if I were still allowed:  You aren’t special just for showing up.  If you want to be special, you have to DO something.  We don’t all get to be astronauts, and life won’t give you a trophy for half-assed mediocrity.  We live in a competitive world, and the only way you won’t fail a few times is if you don’t try to do anything.  Instead of worrying about always being perfect, you should focus on learning from your mistakes and growing as a person.  Life is tough; you have to be tougher.

Always question authority.  Don’t blindly follow a party, a teacher, a media outlet, a corporation, or any other entity that frowns upon you questioning them.  If you want to live in a free society, you have to be able to think for yourself.  Otherwise, someone will always dupe you into following policies and procedures that erode your individual liberties or rob your earnings or put you in a box.  If you aren’t smart enough to think for yourself, you will voluntarily slap the shackles on your wrists and accept a life of servitude.

Stop being such a wimp.  Real confidence and real self-esteem are earned from getting your teeth knocked out and falling on your face and having your ego bruised.  If you have to hear what a special little snowflake you are or else you’ll crumble into a quivering puddle of doubt, life is going to steamroll you before you even get started.  Suck it up, cupcake.  You have a lot more strength inside you than you realize, but you have to get knocked on your ass a few times to find it.  Bullies are real, yes.  So are wolves.  And thieves.  And dictators.  They all prey on weakness, so stop sniveling and learn how to overcome obstacles.  Otherwise, you’ll always see yourself as a victim.

You and you alone are responsible for your failures.  Not your teachers, not your parents, not Obama, not Bush, not the Chinese, no one except you.  Education is hard work, not entertainment.  Work is boring and tedious 99% of the time (hence the name work, instead of fun).  If you are bored by a teacher or a job, that’s your fault, not theirs.  You will either accept this basic truth or spend a lifetime making excuses for why you haven’t succeeded, but the world will not change to suit you.  You have to adapt to your environment and create opportunities from the challenges you face, and that always has been and always will be your responsibility.

Those are the lessons I would still teach if I were still a teacher instead of a customer service representative.