Kyle Busch has earned a new distinction among NASCAR drivers, one which solidifies his place in history. The award was given to him early this morning in the garage area just before the driver’s meeting.
“We’re excited about finally being able to give this award to Kyle,” said Scarlett Neck, a NASCAR spokesperson. “Michael Waltrip had held the designation for many years, but since he no longer drives, we really needed to find a new person to carry the mantle. Kyle fits the bill perfectly.”
Then, Ms. Neck unveiled the plaque, which will follow Busch to every track:
Kyle Busch-Wimpiest Driver in NASCAR
“It’s great honor for Kyle,” said fellow driver, Jeff Gordon, who has long been second in the rankings. “I’m disappointed to still be second. But after yesterday, I have to say really deserves it more than me.”
The cinching incident to which Gordon refers is the after-race altercation between Busch and 65 year old car owner, Richard Childress. After Busch damaged Joey Coutler’s truck, owned by Childress, during a cool down lap.
“When a 26 year old gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen, there’s really not much anyone else can do to compete in terms of wimpiness,” said Michael Waltrip, in response to losing his title. “I had a good run, but really, Kyle is much wimpier than I can ever be.”
In stark contrast, no one has wrested the title of Toughest NASCAR Driver from Dick Trickle.
“The Man in Black sang ‘A Boy Named Sue,'” said Ms. Neck. “But Dick was the inspiration for that song. He’s still one tough son of gun.”
“Trickle really left his mark on this sport,” added Gordon. “He sure was one hard competitor.”
Kyle Busch was unavailable for comment.
The Brotherhood of Dwarves 