In case you need any more signs that we’re at the end of time, here are two more:
Yesterday, I quoted a Paul McCartney song to illustrate how I feel. Me quoting Paul McCartney is like Sarah Palin quoting a real news article. It just don’t happen. My good friend Philip pointed out this fact about me quoting Sir Paul, and as I mulled it over, I realized that yes indeed, we are at the end of days. All that can be done has been done. It’s all over but the fiery rain and bloody mobs in the streets tearing each other a sunder.
Then, as if me quoting McCartney weren’t enough to scare the hell out you, when I got home I saw the end-all be-all sign: Dogs and cats lying together. But not just in any old random form. No, this was truly twisted and a sure sign of the looming end. Our female chihuahua was holding down our male kitten and humping him like a politician on an intern. Jesus H. Christ, what could be more disturbing than a trans-gender, trans-species flesh orgy in a family living room? If that don’t convince you that the end is near, then I don’t know what will.