Tag Archives: writing

Tuesday Morning Ramblings

I’m almost finished with chapter 13 of book three, which means only one more to go.  Once I’m through with 13, the final one will be much easier to write because it’s not so intense.  Last night, the enormity of finally finishing this book hit me and nearly overwhelmed me.  I was truly a different person when I began writing the first chapter.  My life revolved around being a father and provider.  Today, while being a father is still my focal point, the reality is that I live alone, and the intense roller-coaster ride of these last three years has forever changed the person I am.

In some ways, those changes are for the better.  I now see that a person cannot change no matter how much they hope for it; some wounds are too deep to heal.  I also understand more clearly that love and compatibility are too different things, and love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.  From the separation from my kids, I have learned just how much inner strength I have.  Unless you have endured that pain, you cannot understand it, and while there have been times that I’ve wanted to lay down and quit, my inner resolve has not allowed me to.  That’s good to know about myself.

Not all of the changes are for the better.  I am a somewhat colder person than before.  My trust is damaged.  I have less patience for people’s bullshit.  I am much more angry and bitter.

When I look back at who I was 32 months ago when I started this book, the distance feels enormous, but here I am writing the climactic scene exactly as I envisioned it.  I can’t believe the fruit didn’t rot on the vine.  When I do finally finish the rough draft of this manuscript, I will celebrate, and then I will go get my kids and play with them for a couple of weeks.  No matter what else, I am a blessed man.

Friday Afternoon Ramblings

There aren’t words to express how much I love writing.  It’s fulfilling in a way that nothing else can compare to.  The only thing more fulfilling, even though it’s different, is the time I get to share with the boys.  I’ve heard others talk about their creative process in a similar light as I do.  Flannery O’Connor comes to mind.  She said that as she wrote, she smiled like the Cheshire Cat.  I’ve also heard others who felt tortured by it.  Haruki Murakami likened writing a novel to releasing a toxin into the body and only those who have the strength to suppress the toxin can complete a book.  On one level, I understand what he means.  The process from inception to completion is exhausting, but I wouldn’t compare my creative energy to anything so negative.

Instead, for me, it’s like swimming in a naturally warm spring, where the water is always 78 degrees, and each night as I sink into the spring, my body and mind relax.  I’m no longer here in this place; I’m somewhere else, barely a conscious being, and a primitive part of the universe is moving through me unchallenged.  Like most transcendental experiences, it’s hard to put into accurate words.

Chapter 11 is coming along nicely, now that I figured out the stumbling block.  The next couple of scenes will be pretty fun to write, and I hope to have this chapter completed over the weekend.  Then, I’ll just have three more chapters to finish, so the end of June looks really good for completion of the rough draft.  When it’s done, I’ll dive into the editing full throttle, but I will not cut corners.  This book will not be rushed to market, not for any reason.  I want this one to be good, much better than the first two, and the only way to achieve that end is to focus on the rewriting with painstaking attention to detail.

Check back for more updates over the weekend.

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Monday Afternoon Ramblings

One of the best TV series of all time came to a close last night, and unlike shows like the Sopranos that ended with a gutless, wishy-washy, open-for-interpretation cop out or Sex and the City that went the sentimental route, or countless other series that ended on a whimper, the series finale for Lost was nearly perfect.

As a storyteller, I’ve been impressed season after season at the continuity of the show despite the immense scope of the plot lines.  A couple of years ago, I heard an interview with the man who was in charge of tracking all of the character interactions, who met when and how, likes and dislikes, the day in day out minutiae that many of us storytellers take for granted because we’re working on one project for a given amount of time and have a limited number of main characters.  For most projects, one person can keep up with everything with a minimal amount of effort.  However, Lost, with its multitude of primary characters and plethora of supporting characters spread out over a six year period, needed an archivist to keep the writers straight.  That fact alone is impressive.

Another great admiration for the show was the character development.  Each season, the characters grew, regressed, matured, changed allegiances, and suffered, and within the confines of the story, they were nearly always believable as true-to-life.  Again, as a storyteller, I’m impressed with how the writers were able to maintain that verisimilitude over an extended period.

Probably the thing I loved most about the series was that it was smart.  The creators didn’t dumb-down the show to appeal to a broader audience; they didn’t back off of planting cultural nuggets like important pieces of art or great works of literature into scenes to challenge the audience.  In fact, they seemed to relish the opportunity to make the show intellectually stimulating.  As a fan, I loved that.

Last night, the series finale made me cry more than once, and I’m not often moved to tears by a TV show.  The scene when Jin’s memory is triggered by seeing his daughter’s ultrasound was one of the most moving moments of television I’ve ever experienced.  In part, that’s because of my own memory of that first ultrasound, but also because it was so realistic to me.  Each of the “awakenings” was triggered by some connection to love, and even though he never got to meet his daughter in person, his paternal love was so strong that seeing her heartbeat on the ultrasound was enough to make him whole.  In terms of storytelling, that moment was sublime, and I reserve use of that word for only truly transcendental moments.  To me, that scene qualifies as sublime.

The other amazingly beautiful moment occurred between Benjamin Linus and John Locke at the end of the show when Ben apologizes for all he had done.  That moment of humility and penitence was sincere and moving.  The fact that Ben realized he wasn’t ready to move on and needed more time to sort through his personal issues is what kept the scene from wandering into the sentimental.  He was a deeply flawed character but was headed in the right direction.  Locke forgiving him was an encapsulation of what all spirituality is supposed to be: forgiveness and reconciliation.

I’m sad to see the series end, but I’m glad it’s closing on such a strong note.  Few TV series can claim that they ended before they grew stale and tired, but Lost can honestly make that statement.

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