Tag Archives: spirituality

Wednesday Night Ramblings – 7/3/2019

When I started building that flower bed two and a half years ago, I survived off food stamps and the generosity of my parents. I’m incredibly grateful for both. We need a social safety net for people who stumble or get knocked down or just need a hand up. We don’t need a generational welfare system that reduces entire families to wards of the state, but that’s a different discussion for a different post. Without food stamps and my parents, I would not have survived the first 8-9 months, at least not without resorting to drastic measures.

I remember very clearly the first grocery trip paid for completely by my meager wages. I felt such a surge of pride that my sweat and muscle once again provided for my subsistence. I don’t know how people can be content living off of someone else’s money, whether that be the government, family, friends, or lovers. Obviously, there are people who are disabled and incapable of fending for themselves. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the able-bodied.

The feeling of doing for yourself is just too fulfilling. The sense of ownership that comes from earning the money to pay for your own stuff is so internally rewarding that I don’t understand how people can allow themselves to wallow in dependency.

When I finished checking out from that grocery trip, I felt like anything was possible. I know it was just a $40 bag of groceries, but it was so much more than that, too. I had tasted decent measures of success before, so I knew what it felt like. I had just survived some of the darkest moments I can imagine, and those scars were still quite fresh, but that little shopping trip on a winter’s night in January is one of my favorite victories.

That’s all for now.

Friday Night Ramblings – 6/28/2019

My least favorite human trait is envy. That’s not to say that I never feel it myself. Of course, I sometimes look at more successful people and wish things had gone better for me. Typically, however, I don’t dwell on coveting other people’s lives, and I try not to resent anyone else’s achievements. This is because I don’t believe that life is a zero sum game.

Back when my writing career was on an upward trajectory, many other writers within my circle of interaction would envy the small measures of success I had. Some would openly grumble when I did something good. Others would mutter behind my back (sometimes those remarks would get back to me). However, the ones who said those things wouldn’t attend as many conventions as I would, and when they did, they rarely would remain at the sales table as long as I did. They rarely hustled for as many radio/podcast/blog interviews. They rarely made as many sacrifices.

That’s my issue with envy. Most of the time, when someone is jealous of someone else’s good fortune, they desire the fruitful harvest, but they aren’t willing to plow the field and hoe the rows to get there. And in my experience, virtually every single successful person has worked damned hard to achieve what they have.

In terms of books, I never believed that I was in direct competition with other writers. Readers read as many good books as they can find, so I was in competition with myself to craft the best story I could compose. The same is true for my landscaping and tree business. No one business could possibly handle every job out there, so I’m not really competing with anyone except the expectations of my customers. If they are happy, I will get more work. It’s that simple.

Too many people seem to be jealous that they weren’t born a trust fund baby, able to lounge on the French Riviera and sip mimosas for brunch every day. And those people never seem content with their own journey, their own personal competitions. Would it be nice to have a bottomless well of cash? Yes and no. Sure, money can provide a lot of material comforts, but it doesn’t create internal contentedness. The wealthiest people I know are never really happy. Something is always missing from their lives. Happiness comes from recognizing the blessings you already possess and appreciating them.

Once you make that mental switch, from envying others to appreciating your own bounty, you can begin to savor each day as a new opportunity to accomplish something. And some truly cool things can begin to happen for you.

That’s all for now.

Wednesday Evening Ramblings – 6/26/2019

I’ve always felt like something of an anomaly. I have a strong dislike for large government and authoritarianism, but I tend to be pretty progressive about social matters. In my youth, because I came from a blue collar background, I studied Marxism and dreamed of a proletarian utopia, but after deeper analysis, I came to see the beauty of free markets. As a result, I’ve never felt at home with either political party.

I’ve always considered myself an independent moderate with a strong libertarian leaning. I’ll admit that I used to have a severe dislike for most conservative philosophies, but honestly, since I got out of jail, the people who have shown me the most love, compassion, and mercy have been conservatives. The majority of people who ghosted me are liberals. Something like that makes you rethink your own prejudices.

If I had to give myself a true political label, I would say I’m a neoliberal, which isn’t to be confused with a Democratic liberal. Neoliberals believe that free markets and economics are the keys to personal and social liberty. The reason why Marxism fails is because it doesn’t take into account that people are going to act in their own best interests most of the time. It’s impossible for any monolithic, central government to operate efficiently enough to account for individual taste, individual ambition, individual ingenuity. However, free markets can.

In our system, you have the opportunity to choose your own profession. You have the opportunity to start your own business. Yes, there are inequalities and not everyone starts out on equal footing, but I’ve seen numerous examples of people who started with nothing and built thriving enterprises. The mother of one of my best friends in college was from Vietnam. She barely spoke English when she moved to Memphis with her GI husband. After their divorce, she had virtually nothing, yet because of her personal ambition, intelligence, and will, she built a very successful import business.

I’ve also seen the opposite. Spoiled kids who had every advantage and opportunity, yet somehow managed to fumble it all away, usually through debauchery and laziness.

I wanted more than anything to be a novelist. That ambition drove me to study hard in college, practice crafting stories throughout my late teens and early twenties, and produce a damn fine fantasy series. It never caught on commercially, so in some respects, I failed in that career. But I learned so much about myself and the world and business that I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.

Now, I have a small tree and landscaping business that I literally started with my own two hands. I work hard everyday, but I’m happy and content with the value I add to people’s lives. I’m not wealthy, but that’s okay because I’m growing something that feels real. Anyone can do the same. Anyone can find a skill they have and apply it to solving problems in other people’s lives. That’s what free markets are all about.

That’s all for now.