Tag Archives: inspiration

Monday Afternoon Ramblings

While I’ve got a minute between classes, I wanted to share my experience at Homecoming last Friday.  I don’t go to many high school football games because it always makes me miss being on the field too much, but my niece was in the court again this year.  Last year, I had to miss it because of my brutal schedule, and while my schedule is still tough this year, I felt like I needed to be there for her.

I hadn’t been to a game at Burke-Toney Stadium since they installed the artificial turf, and I have to admit that the field is pretty nice.  Back in the day, the grass was always maintained fairly well, but now, the artificial stuff is just amazing to see.  The new Jumbotron on the scoreboard is pretty nice, too.  Now, the stadium has the feel of a small college, and it’s a pretty impressive sight.  The old Burke-Toney, with the block wall surrounding the entire stadium, felt like an old fortress, and it had an intimidating feel because of the grittiness, but this new place is intimidating on a completely different level.

Being there brought back a lot of memories, mostly good but some painful.  I played six seasons of football on that field.  The last one was the most difficult because of my accident.  The coaches wouldn’t play me because of my injury, and standing on the sidelines and watching guys not as talented get pushed around was hard for me.  I wanted to help my team but couldn’t, and every time I’m at a game, I feel like I have unfinished business.  Maybe one day eventually that feeling will go away.

I want to write more about the night because there were a couple of very positive things that happened, but right now, I have to get to class.  I’ll try to write more later.

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Sunday Morning Ramblings

This time last year, I was over halfway through my first Dragon*Con as a guest author.  It should’ve been a great event for me, but a selfish person decided to create drama and ruin it.  Still, I did perform fairly well on my panels, and I made a lot of good contacts.  The convention itself is something to behold — the costumes, the creativity, the passion.  The people who attend it are, for the most part, huge fans of science fiction and fantasy, and for many of them, Labor Day weekend has become a sacred time.

I’m proud that I was part of it.  For an unknown independent, being accepted was a major victory because I got in based solely on my talent and my efforts.  Not everyone can say that.  I also feel like I made a good showing of myself despite the unnecessary drama.  Still, I’m not sure how much of an impact the show has had on my writing career.  Not much is different from before and after.  I can’t point to a jump in sales and say that it was directly because of Dragon*Con, so I’m not sure if it was worth all the effort.

What a difference a year makes.  This year, obviously, I wasn’t invited back as a guest, and because of my health issues, even if I had been, I probably would’ve had to cancel.  Also, and more importantly, I’ve decided to stop chasing success as a writer.  I still plan to write and create good stories for the rest of my life, but I will no longer stress over and sacrifice for becoming successful as a novelist.  There are more important things in my life.

Which brings me to my last point for today’s rambling: Today is my youngest’s fourth birthday.  I simply can’t believe that he is four.  On one hand, it seems like he should still be a year old, reaching up and grabbing hold of my pants’ legs for me to pick him up after I got home from work.  On the other, it feels like much more time has passed over the last three years.  Some days, it feels like a whole lifetime has come and gone.  Dagan might understand what I mean about that combination of the blink of an eye and a snail’s pace.  It’s a strange juxtaposition of sensations, one that these words don’t do justice to.

Happy birthday Finn!  Daddy loves you very much, and I can’t wait to see you soon.