This week has been brutal so far.  For the last week, I’ve been grading and giving back papers, and as anyone who has ever taught an English course can attest, the process is tedious.  The act of grading, when it’s done seriously and sincerely, is exhausting.  It takes roughly 15 minutes to grade one paper, and after three or four in a row, I need to take a break to clear my head.  After 12 to 15 papers, I’m fairly well spent.  Over the last week, I’ve gone through roughly 110 essays and still have about 15 go.  My brain is complete mush.

In addition to that, I’m missing my sons terribly.  Both of the trips I’ve wanted to take over the last couple of weekends have been canceled because they have been under the weather.  That’s nobody’s fault, but I’m frustrated and angry because I feel like I have no substantial role in their lives.  I’m just this guy they talk to on the phone and see in person from time to time, and that hurts more deeply than I can describe.  I feel like they will never understand that this was not my choice, that I was cornered and bullied into an arrangement that has progressively excluded me more and more.  Because I actually pay my child support and keep insurance on them, I am punished by not having the funds to see them more often, but they don’t see that part.  All they can see is that I’m not there.

So basically, I’m mentally and emotionally drained, and it’s only Tuesday.  I don’t mean to whine or be negative or seem ungrateful for the good things.  I just need to vent a little.

www.thirdaxe.com

When Tyler Grady got booted off American Idol last night, he did the thing I see so many students do these days.  He blamed someone else.  It wasn’t his fault for singing a tired song in a clichéd manner.  It wasn’t his fault that his performance lacked energy and sizzle.  It wasn’t his fault that people didn’t vote for him.

No, Tyler Grady blamed the judges for not giving him enough direction.  Please, excuse me while I choke down my urge to smack him.  Give me a freaking break.  I hear this crap from students all the time.  One student, who couldn’t figure out how to type on a word processor, actually blamed the program for putting a space between her last word and end punctuation.  I’ve heard students blame their parents, their siblings, their friends, their teachers, their neighbors, their communities, their environments, their computers, and complete strangers, but I rarely ever hear students hold themselves accountable for their own shortcomings.

I realize that this is nothing new.  People have tried to pass the buck for as long as we have had cognitive functions, but now, it feels like a pandemic with this generation.  They have been so coddled and pampered from conception on that they cannot accept that they are responsible for their own actions.  They are precious butterflies, unique as a snowflake.  They are all winners because if one feels like they’ve lost at something, their feelings may never recover.  How in the hell are these kids ever going to compete in the real world?  In evolutionary terms, they are weak prey, and the strong will devour them because we have weakened them with this precious butterfly nonsense.

God help us when these wimps are running the world.

www.thirdaxe.com

My challenge as a creative person is not whether or not I can create my novels.  Writing has always come fairly easy to me.  No, my challenge is whether or not I can find the way to make it profitable.  While the internet and new technological improvements in printing have leveled the playing field considerably, they have also created a whole new set of issues for us to deal with.

I know the answer lies in diversity.  In this multimedia, digital age, a story has to be expressed in a variety of ways, and that expression may take the forms of artwork, comic books, video games, movies, or even music.  The challenge is to develop as many of those avenues as possible while still retaining the intellectual property rights to your creation.

I’m close to having a major breakthrough.  Too many things have fallen into place in the last year and a half for me not to believe that.  Right now, my focus needs to be on cultivating one or two more avenues to get revenue flowing steadily.  A steady stream with allow for more travel, and more travel with lead to more markets opening up.

I will get there.  It’s just a matter of continuing to strike the anvil.

www.thirdaxe.com