Here’s what I would teach your children if I were still allowed:  You aren’t special just for showing up.  If you want to be special, you have to DO something.  We don’t all get to be astronauts, and life won’t give you a trophy for half-assed mediocrity.  We live in a competitive world, and the only way you won’t fail a few times is if you don’t try to do anything.  Instead of worrying about always being perfect, you should focus on learning from your mistakes and growing as a person.  Life is tough; you have to be tougher.

Always question authority.  Don’t blindly follow a party, a teacher, a media outlet, a corporation, or any other entity that frowns upon you questioning them.  If you want to live in a free society, you have to be able to think for yourself.  Otherwise, someone will always dupe you into following policies and procedures that erode your individual liberties or rob your earnings or put you in a box.  If you aren’t smart enough to think for yourself, you will voluntarily slap the shackles on your wrists and accept a life of servitude.

Stop being such a wimp.  Real confidence and real self-esteem are earned from getting your teeth knocked out and falling on your face and having your ego bruised.  If you have to hear what a special little snowflake you are or else you’ll crumble into a quivering puddle of doubt, life is going to steamroll you before you even get started.  Suck it up, cupcake.  You have a lot more strength inside you than you realize, but you have to get knocked on your ass a few times to find it.  Bullies are real, yes.  So are wolves.  And thieves.  And dictators.  They all prey on weakness, so stop sniveling and learn how to overcome obstacles.  Otherwise, you’ll always see yourself as a victim.

You and you alone are responsible for your failures.  Not your teachers, not your parents, not Obama, not Bush, not the Chinese, no one except you.  Education is hard work, not entertainment.  Work is boring and tedious 99% of the time (hence the name work, instead of fun).  If you are bored by a teacher or a job, that’s your fault, not theirs.  You will either accept this basic truth or spend a lifetime making excuses for why you haven’t succeeded, but the world will not change to suit you.  You have to adapt to your environment and create opportunities from the challenges you face, and that always has been and always will be your responsibility.

Those are the lessons I would still teach if I were still a teacher instead of a customer service representative.