The weekend trip to MidSouthCon in Memphis was great.  My only complaint is that I didn’t get to come earlier and stay longer to visit the city a little more.  Anyone who has lived there will know what I mean when I say that even though it’s a hard place to live, it’s an enchanting city that stirs my creative juices and recharges my batteries.  I couldn’t live there again, but visiting every year is cool.

The convention was terrific this year.  I don’t want to thank any individual for fear of forgetting someone important, but the show was definitely the best year I’ve attended, so thank you to everyone who played a part in putting it together.  I loved being on my panels with so many talented, creative people, and I loved the quality of the audience members who challenged us to meet their expectations.  Each year, I leave MidSouthCon feeling more validated in my writing career, and that’s a nice feeling to have.

This year also marked a first for Third Axe Media and myself.  This was the first time we sold more copies of Red Sky at Dawn than The Brotherhood of Dwarves at an individual event, and overall, sales were pretty strong.  That’s a pretty big milestone and signifies that people liked the first book well enough to get the second, and while it has taken some time to get to this point, it’s definitely a nice moment to enjoy.  I’m still a long way from where I want to be, but it’s nice to see some movement in the right direction.

One last thought about the weekend — I got to spend a lot of time with my good friend Stephen Zimmer.  He’s a fascinating guy and very talented in many facets.  I’m glad he introduced himself  at Hypericon last year and am grateful for his friendship.  He’s just a good person all around, and I’m lucky to count him as a friend.

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I’m packing and getting ready to leave for MidSouthCon in Memphis, one of my most favorite shows.  Returning to Memphis is always special to me because of my connections to the city.  My undergraduate years were some of the best of my life, and there are parts of the city that are as much my home as anywhere else.

Earlier this week, I went to see my sons and spend a little time with them.  Seeing their little smiles and hearing their laughter are two of the greatest joys in my life.  Whenever we are together, it’s as if we haven’t been apart.  They are both as comfortable with me as they are with their mom, and of all my accomplishments, that’s the one of which I’m most proud:  I can take care of my children all on my own.

I’m often very critical of other guys who don’t take care of their kids, and during the drive back this time, I had a bit of an epiphany as to why they offend me so badly.  Physically, each trip to see my sons takes a tremendous toll on me.  The trips are also emotionally draining.  I don’t ever have much money, so they are also a financial burden.  But somehow, I find a way to get there and back and spend real quality time with my sons.  If I can travel over a thousand miles round trip for my kids, anyone can find a way to spend time with theirs.

The epiphany I had was more about the spiritual side of these trips.  Despite the physical toll, they always leave me feeling more fulfilled, and the reason why has little to do with me and nearly all to do with them.  My sons will always have proof of my love for them because they will remember these times with me.  They won’t ever have to wonder why they weren’t worthy of my attention.  In the long run, they will be happier, more well-adjusted people because I’m sacrificing part of me in the short run, and that’s what parenting is all about.  The guys who don’t make the sacrifice piss me off because their children are the ones who suffer.  I’ve seen firsthand the wounds people carry when they don’t have a relationship with their fathers — alcoholism, anxiety, neurosis, and low self-esteem for starters.  The guys who would sentence their own flesh and blood to that because it’s inconvenient or painful to find the time or energy or money to spend time with them are pathetic excuses for human beings and have my utter contempt.

If you’re one of these scum, grow a soul or a spine, whichever you’re missing, and be a part of your children’s lives.

Okay, so I made it to and from Jacksonville to see my sons, and I plan on writing about that tonight or tomorrow.  First, however, I want to share some observations from the traveling there and back.  These kinds of people are the reasons I don’t carry a firearm when I’m driving.

First, if you’re a Yuppie scumbag in a Land Rover trailering your showroom Harleys, don’t drive 60 in the left lane.  You aren’t a badass.  Real bikers RIDE their bikes.  The fact that you and your wife trailer yours means the opposite.  You’re a pussy, and you should be very grateful that the emotionally distraught man you pissed off didn’t run you out of the road and do bad, bad things to you.

Second, if there’s a line of traffic in front of me and to my right, tailgating me will not do anything except make me slow down.  I can’t go any faster than the vehicle in front of mine, no matter how close you get to my bumper.  Maybe we should teach some physics to the weekend warriors who are supposed to be protecting this country.

Third, if you’re a meth-head in car on its last legs, maybe you shouldn’t pretend like you’re coming out of the pits when merging with traffic.  You and the car both have little quality time left.  Make the most of it.  Give each of you a bath.

Those are just some of the reasons I won’t carry a firearm when I drive.  People are just too damn stupid and too damn self-absorbed to be let loose on the interstate.  How there aren’t more accidents and murders is baffling to me.

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