Category Archives: General Posts

Sports, relationships, parenting, literature, education, and more. If it catches my interest that day, I’ll write about it.

Thursday Morning Ramblings

I’ve learned something about myself that is more than a little surprising.  I actually enjoy doing yard work.  For the last three weeks or so, I’ve been working around my parents’ place, clearing brush and debris helping dad with the things he just can’t do anymore.  Perhaps, it’s because it’s such a 180 from teaching and allows me to escape from the frustrations of apathetic teenagers, or maybe it’s because it offers me a measure of control in a life of chaos.  I don’t know the answer.

I’m using the yard work like an exercise routine to help improve my health.  I’m not sure of the actual amount, but I have lost a little weight already.  The more I can lose this summer, the sooner I can get back on the road with promoting, so that’s my motivation for staying with it.  But it’s more than just that.  I really have enjoyed it.  For the first time in a long, long time I’ve felt pride about an accomplishment.  For the first time in a long, long time I’ve felt good about myself.

There’s a long way to go to get the property where it’s fully functional again.  I really should have started this project two years ago after the divorce, but I didn’t, so now the job is a little bigger and a little harder than it would’ve been.  That’s okay, though, because if it continues to give me this sense of pride, I won’t mind that it will take more time to finish.

That’s all for now.

Monday Afternoon Ramblings

One of the best TV series of all time came to a close last night, and unlike shows like the Sopranos that ended with a gutless, wishy-washy, open-for-interpretation cop out or Sex and the City that went the sentimental route, or countless other series that ended on a whimper, the series finale for Lost was nearly perfect.

As a storyteller, I’ve been impressed season after season at the continuity of the show despite the immense scope of the plot lines.  A couple of years ago, I heard an interview with the man who was in charge of tracking all of the character interactions, who met when and how, likes and dislikes, the day in day out minutiae that many of us storytellers take for granted because we’re working on one project for a given amount of time and have a limited number of main characters.  For most projects, one person can keep up with everything with a minimal amount of effort.  However, Lost, with its multitude of primary characters and plethora of supporting characters spread out over a six year period, needed an archivist to keep the writers straight.  That fact alone is impressive.

Another great admiration for the show was the character development.  Each season, the characters grew, regressed, matured, changed allegiances, and suffered, and within the confines of the story, they were nearly always believable as true-to-life.  Again, as a storyteller, I’m impressed with how the writers were able to maintain that verisimilitude over an extended period.

Probably the thing I loved most about the series was that it was smart.  The creators didn’t dumb-down the show to appeal to a broader audience; they didn’t back off of planting cultural nuggets like important pieces of art or great works of literature into scenes to challenge the audience.  In fact, they seemed to relish the opportunity to make the show intellectually stimulating.  As a fan, I loved that.

Last night, the series finale made me cry more than once, and I’m not often moved to tears by a TV show.  The scene when Jin’s memory is triggered by seeing his daughter’s ultrasound was one of the most moving moments of television I’ve ever experienced.  In part, that’s because of my own memory of that first ultrasound, but also because it was so realistic to me.  Each of the “awakenings” was triggered by some connection to love, and even though he never got to meet his daughter in person, his paternal love was so strong that seeing her heartbeat on the ultrasound was enough to make him whole.  In terms of storytelling, that moment was sublime, and I reserve use of that word for only truly transcendental moments.  To me, that scene qualifies as sublime.

The other amazingly beautiful moment occurred between Benjamin Linus and John Locke at the end of the show when Ben apologizes for all he had done.  That moment of humility and penitence was sincere and moving.  The fact that Ben realized he wasn’t ready to move on and needed more time to sort through his personal issues is what kept the scene from wandering into the sentimental.  He was a deeply flawed character but was headed in the right direction.  Locke forgiving him was an encapsulation of what all spirituality is supposed to be: forgiveness and reconciliation.

I’m sad to see the series end, but I’m glad it’s closing on such a strong note.  Few TV series can claim that they ended before they grew stale and tired, but Lost can honestly make that statement.

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Saturday Afternoon Ramblings

One of the things I love about writing is making a vision come to fruition.  The scene that closes chapter 10, which I wrapped up last night, is one that has been in my head for nearly a year.  In that time, I’ve mulled over it, replayed it, reconsidered it from different angles, and obsessed over it to the point that it was like a splinter in my brain.  I needed it written down, but I’m very much a linear writer.  I have to write scenes in the order they will appear in the story, and if I jump forward, I feel lost and out of control.  So I’ve had to be patient to get to this scene.

Now, it’s written, and while I’m certain it needs polishing, I really hope the impact of it is as good as I’ve imagined.  The way it appears in my head gives me goose bumps, but getting that to translate onto the page is not always easy.  It’s one of the challenges of writing that drives some away and keeps some of us coming back.  Personally, I love the challenge of finding the right words, of sculpting the scene until the pacing is just right.  My fellow writers can probably relate.

It’s hard to convey the feeling of accomplishment as I complete this manuscript.  It began two and a half years ago.  It seems that each book has had its own set of hurdles that I’ve had to overcome in order to complete them.  In the middle of book one, my oldest son was born and both of my paternal grandparents passed away, so I had to set aside the manuscript for 5-6 months while I dealt with those events.  Personally, I can see the seam, but few others can.  During book two, I was working two full-time jobs and racing against the birth of Finn.  I knew if I didn’t complete it before he got here, I never would, so despite complete exhaustion, I somehow found the strength to sit at the computer every night until the draft was finished.  Now, with book three, I’ve gone through a divorce, a career change, an economic meltdown, an emotional breakdown, a return to education, and a struggle to get to my feet.  Somehow, through all of that crap, I’ve managed to complete about 75% of the book, and only death will keep me from completing the final 25%.

While I’ve given up hope of ever seeing financial success from writing, my resolve remains to complete this series and make it something that my sons can be proud of.  It’s hard to explain, but losing all hope for my future has given me tremendous freedom to focus more on the quality of what I say.  I don’t know how to describe it, really, but there’s a freedom in hopelessness that I didn’t know when I was focused on the future.  I’ve always been so focused on and so driven by my ambition that the misery of today wasn’t important.  Now, I’ve accepted the misery and quit trying to overcome it.

I just hope book three is as good to others as it feels to me.