Healthcare Ramblings

Now that the first six provisions of healthcare reform are enforceable laws, I decided to take a look at how these provisions are affecting those at the highest end of the economic spectrum.  I traveled to Minneapolis, MN and sat down with Iwanna Getindempokets, the largest shareholder of United Health Group.  I first asked how the new laws had affected him professionally.

“It’s very difficult to explain,” he said.  “Before, our job was so easy.  Someone got sick, we dropped them from coverage.  We didn’t have to worry about taking care of ill people.  Now, we can’t just collect monthly premiums.  We actually have to look at the costs of healthcare.  It’s so time-consuming.”

As a healthcare consumer, I asked him if he thought healthcare insurance providers had an obligation to make sure their customers received the services they paid for monthly.

He stared at me blankly.

I rephrased the question and asked if healthcare insurance providers should pay claims.

“We’re in the business of making money,” Getindempokets responded, becoming agitated.  “How can we make money if we have to spend money?”

Seeing his agitation, I grew concerned for his well-being, so I asked him how the reform had affected him personally.

“It’s been hell,” he said, a tear forming.  “My wife is so worried about the dip in profits, she’s actually cancelled her plans to buy our third vacation home.  It was going to be in Costa Rica, but that won’t happen now.”

He paused and took a deep breath.

“The worst, though, is how all of this has affected my daughter.  She’s my only child, you know.  When things affect you and your spouse, that’s one thing, but when things affect your children, it cuts more deeply.

“My daughter’s dream was to be the world’s first trillionaire.  She had her heart set on it, but thanks to the selfishness of so many Americans, that probably won’t happen.”

As a parent, part of me empathized with him.

“Paris Hilton has gotten to follow her dream of being a coked-out international slut.  Why can’t my daughter have her dream of being a trillionaire?  It’s just not fair.”

He paused, and his pained expression became one of anger.

“I’ll never forgive President Obama for signing those provisions into law.  That ni…uh…socialist has no right to make big business provide the goods and services for which it charges hefty sums.  This country is moving in the wrong direction.”

With that, his Blackberry went off, and he motioned for me to leave his office.  As I exited the luxury suites of the executive floor, I couldn’t help but wonder if the evil socialists in Washington could sleep at night, knowing how they had trampled the dreams of a little girl.

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