Tag Archives: parenting

General Posts

Tuesday Afternoon Ramblings

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I’ve told this story hundreds if not thousands of times, but one of the most important lessons I ever learned in life came my freshman year of high school.  I played defensive end on a 5-3 defense, which would be fairly close to the equivalent to the OLB on a modern 3-4.  During a scrimmage with Knox Carter, I missed a tackle because I half-assed got into the backfield and didn’t set a solid edge.  Then, to compound matters, I dove at the running back as he sprinted by me and lay on the ground, feeling sorry for myself for not making the play.  As I lay there, I heard Coach Brumley Greene come charging onto the field.

He grabbed my facemask, lifted me from the ground, and got in my face.  For the next two minutes, he proceeded to berate me for my pathetic effort on the play.  As he yelled and shook my facemask, spit flew from his mouth onto my glasses, cheeks, and lips.  He let me know without question that I, and I alone, was the only person responsible for the effort I gave.  This incident occurred in front of at least 100 people, most of them my age, and at the tender age of 13, I was mortified by the embarrassment.  As soon as Coach Greene finished humiliating me, he turned to the other team’s coach and ordered him to run the same play.  “Yes, sir,” was the only response.

On my second attempt, I nearly killed the poor ball carrier, and even before I could get to my feet, here came Coach Greene.  Again, he grabbed my facemask and sprayed me with spittle, but this time it was in congratulations.  Even at 13, I got it.  My effort was the only difference in the two plays, and despite the humiliation, or maybe more accurately because of it, I learned in that moment the importance of giving my all.  To this day, I cherish Coach Greene for teaching me that so early in life.

Today, however, he would be fired the moment he touched me.  The spit alone would be grounds for a lawsuit, and that, I wholeheartedly believe, is the crux of where we’ve strayed as a nation.  In a misguided attempt to protect young people’s feelings, we have robbed educators of some the most powerful teaching weapons in the arsenal.  Humiliation, shame, and fear are mighty motivators, and some of the best life lessons we learn have to bruise our feelings to leave a lasting impression.  From my own experience I can attest, the humiliation faded rather quickly, but the lesson has lasted my entire life.  Thank you, Coach Greene, for caring enough to teach me that lesson.

General Posts

Halloween Ramblings

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Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays.  As a kid, of course, the allure was a plethora of free candy, but even as I’ve aged and stopped eating sugar completely, there’s still something about this day that appeals to me more than most.  When people dress up in costume, they often drop their normal facades and become more themselves, so you get a glimpse of their real personalities.  Also, the costumes often generate an energy that’s much more relaxed and lighthearted than the majority of the year.

Those of us who’ve worked the con circuit have experienced these phenomenons throughout the year.  Con-goers, especially the costumers, create a Halloween atmosphere for the entire weekend.  It’s invigorating to spend the weekend around people who are being their true selves, and often, despite working long hours the entire weekend, I return from a convention feeling recharged and refreshed by all the energy and festivity.  Halloween is much the same.  The times when I’ve worked in an environment where costumes were encouraged, that particular workday was the best of the year.

One of my favorite Halloween memories came when I was working at the resort.  If memory serves, it fell on a Saturday, and nearly everyone who worked there dressed up.  Some of us dressed as co-workers, some as movie characters, some as silly inside jokes, and the energy on the sales floor that day was indescribable.  We set a sales record that stood for nearly a year and had a great deal of fun in the process.  That day taught me a lot about the importance of positive energy and excitement in the workplace.  A little fun goes a long way for boosting productivity.

My absolute favorite Halloween memory was the last year I got to take Collin and Finn trick or treating.  Collin was a pirate, I think the one from “The Wiggles,” and Finn was a kangaroo, I believe.  I dressed as Darth Vader and held Collin’s hand as he went door-to-door and said in his tender three year old voice, “Trick or treat.  Thank you.”  It was magical, one of those moments with your kids that sustains you through the long, hard days at work.  As I age and lose my faculties, I hope that memory stays with me until the end.

Happy Halloween, everyone.  Have a safe and fun time, and for those of you with young children, soak up the time and hold onto it.

General Posts, Humor

Monday Morning Ramblings

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I’m all for personal accountability.  We should all be responsible for our actions as adults, and even to some degree as adolescents.  Personally, I maintain that people who choose to abuse our systems should be punished accordingly.  However, recently, I’ve heard many conservatives, some friends others politicians or pundits, say that in our current economic situation, the people who are unemployed or under-employed should not blame Wall Street or Corporate America for the economy.  They should blame themselves and hold themselves accountable for their conditions.  After all, there are successful people, even in this economy, and many of them are self-made.  If they can do it, anyone can, or so they say.  Nevermind about outsourcing or offshore bank holdings or toxic assets.  Those have not contributed one iota to our current economic situation, they maintain.  Therefore, following that logic, I’ve decided to apply the laissez-faire model to other areas of society, and here is what I’ve come up with.

Drug dealers should not be punished for selling drugs, even to minors.  After all, dealers are only responding to market conditions.  The demand exists, so they should have the opportunity to peddle their wares in whatever manner produces a profit.  The blame lies squarely with the users.  If people were not so lazy and ignorant as to get involved with drugs in the first place, there would not be a need for dealers.  As to the act of selling drugs to minors or on school grounds, again the dealers are only responding to market pressures.  Competition requires that they expand their markets to maintain profitability.  Therefore, the government should keep the meddling to itself and leave dealers alone.

Drunk drivers should not be punished for driving intoxicated, even if they murder a family on its way home from dinner.  The sober should be more aware that drunks occupy the highways and should take appropriate action to avoid being struck by someone who is merely trying to get home after a fun night on the town.  What right does the government have to tell a person what they can or cannot do behind the wheel of their own car?  No, the responsibility clearly falls on the sober to avoid putting themselves in situations where a drunk driver may be occupying the road.

Teachers should not be held accountable for failing to instruct their students properly in the classroom.  The fault lies solely on students and their parents for choosing to take a course from an incompetent teacher.  If students do not receive a quality education, they should have taken the course from someone else.  There are other schools out there.  Parents and students should be more proactive in finding out ahead of time if the teachers in their schools are up to standards.  The government has no right to encroach on a teacher’s right to conduct class in whatever manner seems fit.  They were hired for the job, so there should be no oversight into how well they are performing in those roles.

I could keep going, but clearly, I’ve made my point.  Only the victims of improper behavior should be held accountable for their actions.  They need to learn to be more aware of their environments and not put themselves in situations where a drug dealer or drunk driver can cause them harm.  After all, I made it home safely last night without being killed by an impaired driver, and if you didn’t, it’s all your fault.