Tag Archives: creativity

Sunday Evening Ramblings

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This post is my attempt to put into words what I’ve been feeling about my life and career if for no other reason than to make sense of it for myself.  Perhaps this is something I shouldn’t admit publicly, but the best word that comes to mind is desperate.  I feel like my window is closing.  That may just be a product of turning 40, but I truly feel like my chances of having a breakthrough during my lifetime are growing slimmer by the day.  I still believe in the quality of my work and still maintain that I’ve grown and improved with each book, but what I’ve never had is that one big moment, that tipping point when word of mouth and momentum become self-sustaining.  I used to tell myself it was just a matter of time, but now, I’m not so sure.

I don’t want fame or wealth, either.  I don’t need to sell millions of books to validate myself.  What I do need is to earn a living as a writer, but it seems like there is very little middle ground today.  You either have a runaway bestseller or are mired in obscurity.  At least that’s my perception.  The bestsellers today are rarely the best books, either.  Sorry Twilight fans, but those books always have been and always will be vapid piles of poorly written, steaming horseshit.  The fact that Stephanie Meyer never has to work another day makes it hard not to be bitter.  But I digress.

I feel trapped in education.  Trapped.  A suffocating kind of trapped. A long, slow soul crushing kind of trapped.  Every single time I have to drive to and walk inside the high school, a little piece of me dies.  I’m not a high school teacher in any way, shape, or form, and I can’t begin to explain how depressing the environment is.  Every time I grade semi-literate, poorly organized, poorly formatted essays from supposed college students, I feel myself getting dumber.  I feel my own writing skills eroding from the overexposure to inane shit.  Every time I have to re-explain basic instructions to supposed college students, only to have half of them completely ignore me for whatever reason, I feel like screaming.  I want out so desperately I can’t stand myself, but finding a new career is easier said than done in this economy.  I’m also afraid that a career change now will mean the end of my writing career, as well.

I never expected a writer’s life to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be this hard, either.  The rules have changed at least three times already in my 20+ years in this business.  What was once gospel is now obsolete, and no one I’ve met actually knows what the landscape will be tomorrow.  It’s maddening to navigate uncharted territory with little more than a flashlight.  Then, of course, as if things weren’t difficult enough already, Facebook decided to pull a bait and switch and betray those of us who had spent years building up our fan base on their platform.  Now, I’m scrambling to learn the foreign language known as Twitter.

I’m trying to channel my feelings of desperation into a sense of urgency.  Those who’ve worked in sales know what I mean.  Urgency breeds excitement, and excitement is contagious.  For the next few months, I plan to make a big push and use every sales, marketing, promotional technique I know.  I’ll try to hit a few shows, pursue as many avenues as I can, and make my best possible effort to make this happen.  One way or the other, I will not walk through the doors of that high school next fall.  One way or the other, at least that part of my career will change.

Creative Writing Ramblings

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This is the only creative writing manual you’ll ever need.

Chapter One – Prewriting

Come up with the seed of an idea. Ponder on it; think about it; dream about it. Get to know your characters and listen to them. They’ll tell you the story. Do some research to learn about the subjects you’ll need to know to build your world. If you need an explanation as to why that’s important, you have no business trying to write fiction. Also, read. A lot.

Build as much of an outline as you need to get started. Do what works for you. If you don’t know yet, do something and see how it goes. If that doesn’t work, scrap it and try something else. Keep all your notes; bookmark internet pages; scribble on napkins; text yourself. Have some kind of plan before you start writing.

Chapter Two – Writing

Find the self-discipline to write every day, at least four or five days a week. Set realistic weekly page goals and meet them. Always remember, if you create one page a day every day five days a week, at the end of the year, you’ll have a complete rough draft. So stop making excuses and go write. Don’t wait for next November. Start today. Try to write at the same time and place if you can. If that doesn’t work for you, write when and where you can.

Don’t worry about mistakes. You’re going to make them. Lots of them. If you worry about mistakes you’ll never finish anything. Just write. Allow yourself to take chances and fail. Write stupid crap; write incoherent nonsense; write long-winded, poetic sentences full of symbolism; write short, declarative sentences; write awful dialogue. Just write and don’t think about it.

Listen to your characters and write what they tell you. Don’t interrupt them; damn sure, don’t contradict them; listen to them. They know the story better than you ever will. Trust them.

Chapter Three – Rewriting

Let someone read your rough draft and rip it to pieces. Some people prefer working one-on-one; others prefer writing groups. Do what works for you. Let them bleed all over it and put your ego in check. Your ego is stupid and selfish and doesn’t care about your story. Look closely at the feedback; ponder it; weigh it. Fix what you agree with. Keep what you don’t believe needs changing as long as it’s not your stupid ego talking.

Find all of that crap and nonsense and terrible dialogue you let yourself write and fix it. Make it sound like you’re telling the story to your best friend. Polish. Polish some more. Put it away for a few weeks and then polish even more. Care about the quality of what you created. Have some pride and passion about your work. Love it like a child.

Chapter Four – Publishing

Good luck. Don’t get discouraged.

Chapter Five – Promoting

Pester the hell out of everyone you know to read your book. Repeat often. Be proud of what you’ve done. Make others want to read it. Or tell them it’s not for them. Sometimes that works, too.

Chapter Six – Repeating

Repeat chapters one through five until your brain deteriorates too much to continue. Then, retire.

Epilogue

This is all you need to know. Don’t waste $70,000 on graduate school. Read some good books instead. Especially nonfiction. Nonfiction will feed your brain better than fiction sometimes. If anyone tries to sell you a creative writing manual, ask them why they have to make a living selling creative writing manuals. If anyone tries to tell you they know the one correct way to write, slap the shit out of them and never listen to anything they say again. That person is either really stupid or a cult leader. Don’t waste time on either. If your ego ever tells you you’ve learned all you need to know about writing, tell it to go to hell. Your ego is stupid.

Book Excerpt Ramblings, Too

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As the last installment for the Worlds of Wonder blog hop, here is another excerpt from the forthcoming release in The Brotherhood of Dwarves series
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From Chapter 7

Fulfilling Obligations

Leinjar stopped on a crest of the trail overlooking the gate to the Tredjard kingdom. After a few more feet, there could be no turning back, and as he listened to the birds singing in the scrub pines on the mountainside, he almost turned around. He couldn’t remember how many years he had been gone, fifteen or sixteen, maybe more, but to Tredjards, no amount of time could eclipse the bearing of a grudge. As a boy, he had heard a story from his father about the long memories of his people.

Jorland the Coward had fled from duty during a battle and had hid in the mountains for forty years. As old age overtook him, he had longed to see his birthplace once more, so he had ventured back into the kingdom, expecting to have been forgotten. At the gate, the guards had been trained to interrogate everyone, especially returning Tredjards, for few dark beards willingly ventured out of the kingdom. Those trying to come back were usually outcasts, and during the five hour interrogation, Jorland had slipped up and used his real name.

He was delivered to the king, who hadn’t been born when Jorland had abandoned his post, and despite the passage of forty years, he had been executed for cowardice. As he had told the tale, Leinjar’s father, himself a veteran of many battles and missing an arm, had stressed to the downy-bearded young Tredjard the value of courage and the penalty for spinelessness. Death in battle left one in honorable standing. Failure to fulfill one’s duty was unspeakable shame. To Tredjards, no gray area existed, and now, much like Jorland the Coward, Leinjar would have to face the guards’ interrogation, one he himself had been trained to administer.

He looked at his two companions, whose faces hid any excitement they may have felt at returning home. One had been in the cage when Leinjar arrived and had survived hundreds of leisure slave battles. The other had only arrived a few years back but had fought valiantly on the Slithsythe, at Hard Hope, and in the logging town. Both deserved better than to be executed for his shame. He asked if they were certain they wanted to enter the kingdom with him, and both nodded, so Leinjar mustered up his courage and continued down the dirt path.

The gate rose from the mountainside like a warning to turn back, its stone and steel fortifications offering no hint of hospitality. Even on this border, far from any threat of orcs or the Great Empire, the bars were thick and sturdy, and crossbows peeked through the slots, watching for a threat. As he neared, Leinjar held out his palms and advanced slowly, anticipating the order to halt. His last opportunity to turn back was gone, for the crossbows shifted positions, trained on him and the other two.

***

The sergeant at the Ghaldeon gate, as it was known, peered through the slots and watched the three Tredjards moving down the trail. They were dirty and unkempt, their beards and hair tangled, matted, and greasy with no beard clip to signify rank. Their clothes were a beggar’s rags, and they looked thin and aged. However, their weapons, orcish pikes, were battle-tested and well-maintained. If any Tredjards seeking re-entry to the kingdom fit the profile of outcasts, these three were it, and the sergeant told his troops to ready themselves for trouble.

“That’s far enough,” he called, stopping the three ten yards from the gate. “State your business.”

“We seek an audience with the king on behalf of the Kiredurks,” the middle one said, his eyes those of a madman.

“That so?” the sergeant scoffed. “You’re the best those weaklings could send?”

“We’ve covered many miles. Please, forgive our appearance.”

“Lie to me, and we’ll fill you with bolts. Where did you get those weapons, dark beard?”

“The orc plantation we escaped from, sergeant.”

“How do you know my rank?”

“I once wore the same clip.”

The sergeant turned to his archers, who shrugged in confusion. He looked back at the crazy-eyed dwarf:

“Your name, then?”

“I’m Leinjar, Sergeant of the Torjhien and Stoljehn gate.”

The sergeant glanced back at his archers, whose expressions had changed from confusion to bewilderment. Surely he had misheard the dwarf. Only a fool would appear at the gate, using that name to gain entrance. He asked the archers if they had heard him, and they nodded.

“Say again,” the sergeant called through the bars.

“My name is Leinjar.”

“What should I do?” the sergeant whispered to the dwarf beside him.

“It can’t be him,” the archer whispered back.

“I’ll give the scum this much,” another archer said. “He has guts.”

“What should I do?” the sergeant repeated.

“Call the captain,” the first archer said.

“Good idea,” the sergeant whispered. Through the bars he called, “You three wait right there.”

Worlds of Wonder