I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but I feel like a kid most of the time. When I’m standing in front of a class full of students, I often think, “What in the world makes me think I’ve got the right to pretend like I’m an expert in anything?” In social circles, even if I’m not the youngest, I often feel like I’m the least in seniority of anyone there, and when around my peers, I rarely feel as if my maturity level is as well-developed as theirs.
On the plus side, I still have childlike wonder about things that I enjoy. Because I often feel young, I rarely feel old, which I’m certain is a good thing. Despite the aches and pains in my physical self, my spirit is still vibrant and positive, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
On the down side, I often defer to others because I so often feel as if their maturity and judgment must be better than mine. Despite having experienced and overcome a lot of obstacles in my life, I still don’t feel as if I’ve earned the right to consider myself wise. I often wonder if I’ll ever feel like an adult, if there will ever come a day when I look at myself and see a grown man instead of a kid. Does anyone else feel this way? If so, please leave a comment and share your experience with this feeling.