There’s a “Rod Run” in Pigeon Forge this weekend. There are two in the fall, and one of them attracts some very nice old cars. I mean some high dollar, perfectly restored, vintage cars. While there will be some nice cars this weekend, this particular one attracts a lower quality of collector. Many of the POS Novas this weekend were just pulled out the junk yard, tuned up, spray painted blue or yellow r red, and called a hot rod.
Until you’ve delivered pizza in a Rod Run weekend, you can’t understand my absolute and utter disdain for them. In general, the people are drunk, rude, inconsiderate, churlish, and cheap. Every street, every parking lot, and every walkway will be clogged with these people. It can take as long as an hour to move one mile, and even knowing the back ways around, you can lose two hours on one delivery. Because service is so slow, most of the time you get stiffed, so the entire weekend becomes a repetition of sitting in traffic and not making any money. I’ve never been so frustrated as I was working those weekends. I survived eight total, and if I never have to work another, I can grow old a much happier man.
But I recognize that the Rod Runs are good for the local economy, in general, and I recognize that the people who attend the Rod Runs probably feel the same way about science fiction/fantasy conventions as I feel about sitting on the side of the street in a lawn chair, drinking beer, and watching cars roll by at one mile an hour. It’s like NASCAR, only without any of the fun or excitement.
So this weekend, I’ll stay at home as much as possible and avoid Pigeon Forge like a toxic waste site, and if I do decide to order pizza, I’ll be sure to tip the driver double because I know the hell they are enduring.